Please Stay
by xXHeart of GoldXx
Summary: Sequel to Awkward Child. Now sixteen, Erica's world becomes very confusing when Amanda admits that she did not let Erica see letters that her mother sent her over the years. Angry and confused, Erica doesn't know who to believe anymore.
1. Prologue

"What's bothering you?"

"I told you, nothing."

"Falling apart in class today seems to tell me otherwise, Erica."

"I didn't mean to start crying," Erica explained to the school psychologist. "It just happened and I can't explain it. I'm happy."

"Why don't you tell me about yourself? Start with the basics. Name, age, favorite things, hobbies, etcetera," her voice was calm which caused Erica to relax against the back of her chair.

"My name is Erica De Santa. I'm ten and a fifth grader. I really like to dance, sing, and act. I'm in theater and sometimes I go horse-back riding with Amanda."

"And who's Amanda?"

"My mom. Well, my aunt really. She adopted me."

"Do you get along well with her?"

"Yeah!" Erica said happily. "I help with dinner when she cooks."

"That's very good," the psychologist smiled. "Who else do you live with?"

"My uncle, well, dad now, Michael. And my cousins but now they're my older brother and sister. But they're a lot older than me. Tracey's thirteen years older and Jimmy's eleven years older than me."

"That's quite an age gap! Do you get along with them?"

"Yeah," Erica nodded.

"What do you like to do together?"

"Me and Jimmy like to play Mario and he takes me out to the arcade and fun places."

"How about Tracey?"

"We go shopping and we get our nails done together. But we haven't done that in a while."

"And why's that?"

"Tracey's moving out," Erica frowned. "She and her boyfriend are going to get an apartment together."

"You don't seem to be very happy about this," the psychologist pointed out.

"I'm not," Erica sighed. "I begged her to stay, but she says she has to move out sooner or later. I told her later, but she said no."

"Well, she is in her early twenties. It's normal for people her age to be out on their own."

"It means I won't see her every day. And she's already ignoring me and doing other adult things. We haven't done anything together in a really long time," Erica said and despite herself, she began to cry again.

"There there," the psychologist said and handed the girl a tissue. "It's hard when someone you live with moves out. But you'll still see her, I'm sure of it."

"First it's Tracey, then it's Jimmy, and then I'm…I'm just really scared," Erica shook.

"Why's that?"

"Because once one person leaves, they'll all leave and then I'll be all alone. The thing I'm most afraid of is being alone."

"You'll never be alone, Erica. I promise you. Nobody is ever truly alone. There's always someone there for you."

"That's what I tell myself. But I still get nightmares where nobody's there. Literally no one. It's scary. Sometimes I wake up screaming and Amanda comes in and tells me everything's okay. It helps, but the dreams always come back."

"Have you ever talked to Amanda or anyone about them?" the psychologist questioned.

"No," Erica said and shook her head. "I don't want Amanda to find out about what they're really about."

"And why's that?"

"Because I don't want to tell her. It's too weird."

"Do you want to tell me?"

"Well, you won't tell Amanda or anyone in my family, right?"

"Everything you say here is confidential. The only thing I will have to report is if someone or yourself is harmed in any way, such as if you or someone else is being abused."

"There's none of that," Erica said quickly. "It's just dreams, I promise."

"If it's just dreams and how you're feeling, then I cannot tell anyone, not even Amanda."

"Can I talk about my dreams?" Erica asked and swung her feet back and forth. When the psychologist urged her to go on, she played with one of her red braids. "It starts off with me at home. And then out of nowhere, my mommy shows up. She comes to take me away from Amanda and Michael," Erica said with tears in her eyes, but she dried them quickly with a tissue from the psychologist's desk. The psychologist remained silent to let Erica continue. "And she wins. She takes me. I'm dragged out of my home and I'm back in a trailer in North Yankton. And then my mommy leaves me and I'm all alone in the trailer again. Then I find a way to call Amanda and Michael and they can't get me because they just can't for some reason so I start screaming and crying. And then I wake up screaming and crying."

"This nightmare sounds horrible," the psychologist replied. "I know it seems scary, but did you ever think about the part in the dream where you say that Amanda and Michael cannot get you back? You said they can't get you back. It sounds like in your dream they want you to come back, am I right?" Erica sat there really thinking about it. She closed her eyes and remembered the vivid scene from her nightmare where she's on the phone with both Michael and Amanda. If she blocked out her own screaming, she could hear Amanda and Michael apologizing and telling her that they had tried everything to get her back; they told her they want their little girl back.

"You're right," Erica said and opened her eyes. "They do want me in my dream! I guess being alone isn't why I'm scared."

"If I may, I think you are afraid of your mother coming back and taking you away from your family. But I still think you are somewhat afraid of being alone based on what you just said."

"It's weird," Erica started. "I'm afraid of my mommy coming back and taking me, but sometimes I want her to come back and be part of my life. Why is everything so confusing?"

* * *

><p>Here is the long awaited beginning to the sequel of <em>Awkward Child<em>. I've been getting a lot of requests to post this, so here it is! Hopefully uploads will be regular and quick. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	2. Chapter 1

Amanda never really liked cooking until she adopted her niece, Erica, when she was nine years old. Before that, Amanda didn't mind ordering takeout for every meal. There had been a time when she did enjoy cooking but that was back when she lived in North Yankton and Tracey and Jimmy would help her in the kitchen. They loved baking the most, so she did it often. About a year after they moved to Los Santos, Tracey stopped helping and since Tracey stopped, Jimmy copied her and the kitchen had represented lost happiness. When Erica came into the picture, the girl enjoyed helping Amanda cook and the kitchen was once again revived.

However, Amanda still hated doing the dishes which was why she had Tracey currently doing them as she dried and put away the pots and pans. She almost had Erica do this part, but it gave her time to talk to Tracey one on one while the rest of the family was watching Christmas specials after Christmas dinner. "So, when are you going to make me a grandma?" Amanda queried. She had been bringing this subject up quite a bit ever since Tracey got married a couple of years ago.

"Mom!" Tracey exclaimed. "I told you," she said over the running water. "I'm not having kids."

"You will someday," Amanda said. "And I'm patiently waiting."

"Hey, you still have Erica to spoil," Tracey referred to her sixteen year old cousin by blood and sister by adoption. Amanda knew Tracey had no intentions of ever having kids; she just wasn't that kind of person. However, it didn't stop her hoping that there'd be some children around her home occasionally and she loved the fact that she'd be able to hand them off to Tracey if they fussed.

"She's my daughter it isn't the same," Amanda joked. "Grand-parenting seems more fun."

"Why? Because you can just, like, be around kids whenever you feel like and buy them unnecessary things so that I look like the bad guy when I say no they can't have it but then you buy it for them anyway?"

"Exactly," Amanda laughed.

"If I did have kids, it would be nice, you know? I mean, nice that they'd have grandparents. They'd be the first generation in this entire family to have them in their lives," Tracey pointed out.

"You've seen the ones on your father's side."

"Yeah, like, twice. It doesn't really count."

"I know," Amanda sighed.

"Did you ever want kids?" Tracey asked.

"Honestly, I wasn't even thinking about them. I was something like twenty one when I had you. But there were never any regrets."

"I'm thinking Erica was the only planned one," Tracey smirked.

"Stop it," Amanda said playfully. She looked into the other room where the others were watching television. She noted how Erica was curled up against Trevor. Her head rested against his chest and her legs were folded on the couch. Trevor had his right arm around her and a beer in his left hand. It was strange how gentle he was with her as well as Tracey and Jimmy. Amanda still didn't like him too much but she learned to tolerate him and he learned to tolerate her. She still didn't know why Erica was so attached to him when all he did was use and make meth while smuggling illegal weapons.

Erica had come a long way since she was adopted. She still read her books, but it became less frequent which was a good thing because she no longer isolated herself from everything. After the adoption had been final, Erica had terrible nightmares where her biological mother, Elizabeth, took her back. Those nights were incredibly hard because the girl cried so hard and clung to Amanda so tight as if she'd disappear in thin air. Luckily, those stopped after a year and a half. Overall, her confidence and self-esteem dramatically increased. She loved dancing and theater which she excelled in. Her awkwardness around others practically vanished. "You know, you turned out okay. I mean, after all the stuff you put me through, you turned out good."

"Thanks, mom," Tracey rolled her eyes as she tossed the towel onto the counter after drying her hands. Jaylen entered the room to refill his glass as well as Michael's with whiskey. Amanda never thought that Tracey would end up with such a nice man. She assumed she'd end up with someone dangerous and have numerous divorces. It was nice to know she hadn't failed as a parent. Even Jimmy, her son, had a very nice girlfriend who he brought over. And then there was Erica who was so far away from marriage and adulthood. At sixteen, she still had a ways to go. She was a junior in high school and preparing to take her SATs soon. Although she was still a kid, Amanda feared the next two years would go by too quickly. Her fear was that Erica was going to apply to colleges out of state. It was funny how she was certain Erica would go to college but she knew for a fact that Jimmy and Tracey wouldn't attend after high school. Perhaps she should have pushed them, but at the time she didn't see why they would need to considering how much money they had. At least Tracey went to college when she was twenty two.

Erica stood up and entered the kitchen to get herself something to drink. The red head was shorter than average due to her growth possibly being stunted when she lived with Elizabeth. The doctor explained that she had been malnourished and would most likely have grown taller if it weren't for not having meals every day in her early years. The doctor assured Amanda that Erica was fine, though, and although she should have been about Tracey's height, Erica only grew to be about five foot three which was a perfectly normal height. However, against her family, she was most definitely short. It bothered Erica somewhat, but what didn't bother a sixteen year old girl?

Tracey settled down on the couch alongside Jaylen with Jimmy and his girlfriend in the center. Erica sat beside Jimmy's girlfriend but was closer to Trevor who sat on the end. The adults had their alcoholic beverages while Erica was forced to drink soda. "How come I can't have a beer?" she pouted.

"Because you wouldn't like it," Michael said before taking a sip of his whiskey.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you," Michael retorted.

"Can I at least have a sip?" she questioned.

"Go for it, kid," Trevor said. Nobody said anything as Erica took a sip of his beer and made a disgusted face and handed it back to him.

"That was disgusting," Erica scrunched up her nose in disgust. She drank her soda to get the horrid taste out of her mouth. Amanda wasn't stupid and knew that Erica drank before at those high school parties but she never caught the girl coming home drunk. She was either an incredibly odd teen or she was very smart about it and simply didn't get drunk.

"Told you so," Michael laughed along with Trevor and the others.

"Very funny," she said with an annoyed expression.

"Oh, now you just look like Amanda over there," Trevor commented.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Amanda asked defensively. She was thankful that she was in her own chair and not seated on the couch beside Trevor.

"He means nothin'," Michael responded coolly. Amanda rolled her eyes and decided to drop it. After all, it was Christmas and she wasn't about to ruin it by starting an argument. She watched Erica get up from her spot abruptly and leave the room. Even though she had already raised two, teenagers would still be a mystery. She was going to go after her until she saw that she had let Franklin in. Apparently nobody else heard him knocking on the door. Everyone greeted Franklin when he entered the room. Michael got up to go get him a glass of red wine. Amanda engaged in the conversation with the rest of the adults whereas Erica sat there bored out of her mind. How was she supposed to contribute to a conversation about politics when she couldn't even vote? So, she spontaneously got up and went into the other room and sat at the piano.

Erica had to admit, she wasn't nearly as musically talented on the piano as her best friend, Dinusha. The auburn haired girl could play simple Christmas songs whereas Dinusha was playing Mozart and Beethoven. Then again, Erica never really had formal piano lessons nor did she want them. She mostly just taught herself online when Amanda randomly bought one because she thought it would be a nice piece in their mansion. The piano just sat there being unused, so Erica decided it should be put to use and taught herself.

Her fingers played the tune of _Jingle Bells. _She didn't expect Jimmy's girlfriend to follow her. The woman was a few years younger than Jimmy, making her the closest to Erica's age at twenty five. Still, that was a nine year difference. She wished Dinusha (who was actually Jaylen's younger sister by adoption) was there so she'd have someone to talk to. "I didn't know you played piano," Jimmy's girlfriend, Karen, said to her.

"Just a little," Erica shrugged as she continued to play. Karen was oddly quiet and generally rather awkward around Erica due to the age difference. She was nice enough, but the teen didn't know how to feel about her since she barely knew anything about her. Tracey's husband had been completely different and engaged in conversations with her even when she was only nine. Karen sometimes spoke to Erica as if she was a child and that bothered her quite a bit.

"Well, I think you're very good," Karen smiled.

"How come you followed me in here?" Erica asked, cutting right to the chase.

"I don't really like talking about politics," she shrugged.

"Yeah, me either," Erica couldn't help but smile.

"Jimmy tells me you're a really good dancer and singer."

"I'm an okay singer. But dancing, I will admit, I am pretty good at that."

"Maybe next time I'll come see you perform," Karen suggested. "Listen, if there's anything you ever need to talk about, you can come to me. I know we don't really know each other well, but-" She was unable to finish her sentence because Trevor entered the room. And of course, when Trevor entered the room, Karen stopped speaking due to fear. Erica could completely understand why she was afraid of him because the man was dangerous in general. However, what Karen didn't know was that she was safe from his wrath due to the fact that she was with Jimmy and she already proved herself that she wouldn't hurt or use him in any way. There was no way for the poor woman to know this and Erica made a mental note to explain this to her at a later date when Trevor wasn't around.

Trevor was never one to be afraid to interrupt, so that is exactly what he did. He was most definitely drunk but that wasn't anything new. Erica sighed, hating that he abused his body with drugs and alcohol. She loved and trusted him with her life, but she wished that he'd take care of himself so she didn't fear that she'd find him dead somewhere. At least he wasn't so drunk he couldn't function this time nor was he on the verge of blacking out. Erica had been to some high school parties and never drank because of this. Sure, she'd have a sip of a friend's drink here and there for the taste of some of those really good fruity drinks. However, she knew better and refused to drink more than just those few sips. Not only did she never want to end up like Trevor when he got drunk, but she'd never, ever want to end up like her biological mother, Elizabeth, who drank and got high with heroin being her drug of choice. "What are you kids up to?" he slurred. Erica rolled her eyes and stood up, going over to him.

"Maybe you should go back in the other room," she advised. She didn't need Karen to have a panic attack.

"Why? Don't want your Uncle T around anymore?" he questioned angrily.

"You know that isn't true," Erica glared. If she was anyone else, she'd probably be dead within two seconds. However, he had such a soft spot for her that he backed off with a snarl. "Listen, tonight just you and me will talk, okay? I promise. There's some stuff I have to talk to you about."

"All right, kid. Everything okay?" he asked. Although she could smell the alcohol in his breath, she didn't back away when he stepped closer.

"Yeah. I just need to vent."

"Got it," he winked. "Hey, Karen, don't look so fucking terrified I'm not gonna hurt you." This was meant to sound reassuring but he had that way of always sounding scary. Trevor left the two alone and went back in the other room loudly talking to Franklin about something that shouldn't have been mentioned Christmas night.

"He really freaks me out," Karen said as she caught her breath.

"He's not going to hurt you, I promise. He wouldn't hurt anyone in this house."

"But he kills innocent people and I know what he does," Karen replied.

"Karen, you do realize who Michael is and who Franklin is, don't you? And you do know things about this family, right?" Erica queried.

"So Jimmy wasn't exaggerating about his father then-er-your father," she realized. "But anyway, they aren't like Trevor. They seem to have some kind of…well…something. Like rational thought."

"Michael? Rational? Please. I mean, when it comes to his family he would do anything to protect them. But if you're not in the family and you try to stop him, I wouldn't advise that."

"But he's a movie producer now," she put in. "He doesn't do that stuff anymore."

"Or so we think," Erica put in her two cents. "He's so good he like never gets caught. Who knows what he's really up to on a Saturday afternoon?"

"You're really scaring me."

"You knew all this," Erica said. "I'm pretty sure Jimmy told you."

"He has. But it's just different coming from you."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're sixteen and I'm beginning to think you aren't as innocent as I thought you were." There was a moment of silence before Erica sighed. She was grateful Karen wasn't as tall as Amanda or Tracey; she was probably only an inch taller than Erica, if that. Therefore, she wasn't forced to look up and feel childish when talking to her about this.

"There isn't anything innocent about me," Erica finally said. "Jimmy probably told you that I'm not really his biological sister."

"I picked up on it when you called Michael and Amanda by their first names," Karen said softly. The two sat down on the piano bench together facing away from the piano.

"All you need to know is that I lived in North Yankton in a trailer park with a really bad mother. I know that this family can be scary, Karen. I know that. But they are the nicest people if you let them in and give them a chance. Especially Trevor. He's always had a soft spot for me, Tracey, and Jimmy. And he'll probably have a soft spot for you, too. He does like you so you passed that test," Erica joked.

"What test?"

"You're still alive." Despite the morbid comment, both burst out laughing. Erica realized this was the first time Karen ever spoke to her on the same level. It was nice and she was beginning to like her.

"I think I'm going to head back in there. Coming?" Karen stood.

"No, I think I'll stay here. Too much socializing gets to me." Karen nodded and smiled, leaving her in the room alone. She was okay with this and took out her phone to check her texts. She responded to Dinusha's text about how her fathers were forcing her to sing Christmas carols in the car on their way back from her grandparent's. Erica was thankful Michael hated any kind of singing in the car during long drives.

Erica got up from her spot and grabbed her jacket to go stand outside. She didn't know why she did this until she looked up at the night sky and wondered if Elizabeth was looking at the same stars. She knew she had been a horrible mother-she had a scar to prove it-but she couldn't help but miss her terribly, especially during the holidays. She had tried to get in contact with her in the past, but gave up after she sent the last letter she wrote when she was fourteen years old. She probably would have continued to write despite the lack of responses if it wasn't for Amanda. She didn't blame Amanda, her aunt that she was proud to refer to as her mother, but it used to make her upset behind closed doors when she saw how excited Erica used to be to send letters when she knew the poor girl wouldn't get a response. "Hey, we're getting ready for dessert," Jaylen said and stood beside her. "What are you doing out here?"

Erica looked up at him and bit her lower lip as she thought of what to say. Finally, she said, "You were adopted when you were nine, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, do you ever wonder about your biological parents?" she queried. If anyone would understand, perhaps Jaylen would. She had tried to talk to Dinusha about this since she was adopted, too, by the same couple that adopted Jaylen. However, Dinusha was adopted when she was very young and had no memory of her biological parents. As far as she was concerned, Brandon and Elijah were her only parents.

Jaylen gave her a look of sympathy before he spoke. "I never knew them. I was moved around from house to house in the foster care system for a long time before I was adopted. Why? Do you think about your biological parents?"

"Never mind. It's stupid," Erica said and shook her head. "Come on, let's go back inside. It's getting cold," Erica added before she rushed inside. If Jaylen was going to talk to her about the subject anymore, she escaped before he could say something.

* * *

><p>Here's chapter 1! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed. I'm going to try and update once a week (most likely on Fridays).<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

It was late and she couldn't sleep. It had to be about two thirty in the morning before she gave up tossing and turning. She rubbed her eyes before hopping out of bed. Tracey couldn't help but be annoyed at her mother for suggesting that she have children. The blonde wanted nothing to do with having anything come out of, well, _there_, and she most certainly did not want to ruin her figure. She knew her hips would be wider and she'd gain unwanted weight from a pregnancy. Not only that, though, but she feared she'd relapse and go back to having an eating disorder while she was pregnant. She sighed and admitted to herself that she did eventually want children but she didn't want to damage that child during pregnancy. She and Jaylen were talking about adoption but she could tell he wanted to have a baby. He kept assuring her that it would be okay if they just adopted as long as they had a baby at some point before they were forty.

Tracey put on her slippers and robe. She decided if she couldn't sleep, she'd go watch television in the living room. She figured Trevor would be knocked out cold at this hour considering how much alcohol he consumed so the TV wouldn't bother him. When she made her way down the stairs, she noticed that Trevor was awake and so was Erica who looked as if she had been crying. Her sister wasn't really one to cry and was considered the more level headed one if they were to compare each other. Despite being twenty nine, Tracey was more likely to cry, pout, or react based on her emotions while Erica kept her emotions in check and thought more rationally.

Even though she told herself she shouldn't, Tracey sneaked into the kitchen to listen in on their conversation. She was too nosy for her own good sometimes but she genuinely cared for her and wanted to know what was wrong. That, and why would she go crying to Trevor of all people? Tracey loved her Uncle Trevor, but if she were upset she'd go to her father before him since Trevor was unstable in many ways.

She jumped when she saw her mother sitting in the dining room around the other corner in the dark. It seemed as though Erica and Trevor were oblivious to her presence. Upon closer inspection, she saw Amanda with tears in her eyes which were baffling because she never cried. Silently, Tracey sat down beside her. Neither really acknowledged each other's presence, both feeling very awkward. "It doesn't make sense why I feel this way," Erica sniffed. "I should just forget about her but I can't. I want to, but it isn't possible."

"She's your mother, kid. You won't ever forget about her as much as you want to-as much as you need to," Trevor explained most likely not for the first time based on how easily it came to him.

"But she isn't my mother. She's nothing what a mother is. Amanda's my mom. But I just can't forget about my biological one, you know? Even though she treated me so bad back then and even though she wants nothing to do with me, I still want her. I still want to see her and talk to her and tell her about everything in my life," Erica explained as she wiped away her tears.

"I get it," Trevor nodded in understanding.

"I just want to be happy with what I have. I already have everything I could possibly want but it isn't enough," she choked.

"The holidays are always tough," Trevor admitted.

"I want Amanda," she admitted childishly. "But I can't tell her about this. It'll break her heart." Tracey watched Amanda close her eyes tightly and bite the sleeve of her robe to stop herself from crying. She reached over and grabbed Amanda's free hand and clutched it tightly to stop herself from crying as well as comfort her mother. Like Amanda, Tracey had no idea Erica still thought about Elizabeth. It was surprising because Erica seemed to be happy and neglected to ever mention her. Perhaps she really didn't want to hurt the family that took her in. The thing was though, Tracey wasn't hurt that she missed Elizabeth and that dysfunctional childhood; it hurt to know that her sister was hurting and didn't think that she could talk to Tracey, Amanda, Michael, or Jimmy about any of this. No wonder Erica would get frustrated if she didn't see Trevor at least once a month! He was her way of letting everything out. Although she wasn't as emotional as Tracey, when Erica bottled up her emotions due to other things she had quite a temper that rivaled her own.

"I've got you, kid," Trevor said and hugged the teen.

"I know it's stupid," Erica murmured. "But what if my biological mom had been right all along? She told me something like Amanda only felt obligated to take me in and that she didn't really want me, but she just wanted me because I was hers. You know what I mean?"

"I do," Trevor said. "But trust me on this one, Amanda didn't take you in because you were her sister's or because she felt like she had to. She took you in because she knew you were meant to be her daughter. You were meant to be brought into this fucked up, psychotic family with an Uncle Trevor." His words were extremely surprising to hear. Even Amanda let out a small gasp of shock when she heard his rough voice say this. Trevor's voice was anything but comforting and Tracey would much rather have Michael say those words to her. But Erica was an odd duck and she looked up at Trevor as if he was one of the best things in the world and appreciated everything he said. She smiled.

"Everyone needs an Uncle Trevor," Erica remarked.

"That they do, but they don't. You're a lucky kid," he let out a laugh. "I think that's all the energy I have for a pep talk or whatever that was. Bed time."

"But Trevor," she started.

"I said bed time."

"Since when do you care when I go to bed?" she queried.

"Since Amanda would kill me if she found out if you pulled an all-nighter."

"Like you care," Erica rolled her blue eyes.

"Hey, she's your mother. Respect her, eh?"

"I always do," Erica stood and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See you in the morning? Or when the sun's up?"

"Yeah. Hopefully nobody's up before noon," Trevor said as he stood. He was staying in Jimmy's old room for the night since he and Karen went back to their home that night. Tracey and Jaylen decided to spend the night when they both decided they drank too much to drive. Jaylen never got drunk by any means, but he simply didn't feel comfortable driving home that night. Tracey's bedroom had been converted into a guestroom while Jimmy's room was Michael's new office but that room had a futon in it to accommodate for more guests. Tracey held her breath until she saw them retreat up the stairs.

"Mom?" Tracey said timidly. She wasn't sure how far she should go with questions because she was full of them. Amanda wiped the tears off her cheeks before taking in a deep breath.

"I had no idea she missed her this much," Amanda admitted. "But why can't she come to me about this?"

"She said that she didn't want to make you sad," the blonde said giving Amanda a small smile.

"It wouldn't make me sad," Amanda said quickly. "It makes me even more upset that she doesn't think she can come to me."

"Come on, you and Erica are close. She tells you way more than I ever told you back when I was her age," Tracey pointed out. "If this is the one thing she doesn't tell you, you totally don't need to freak out." It was true that Erica had a very close relationship with Amanda. Whenever she had some kind of gossip from high school or a problem, she always went running to her mother. Tracey would never even dream of telling Amanda anything about her personal life or gossip when she was sixteen.

"What are you doing up anyway?" Amanda tried to attack, but it sounded as if her energy had been drained.

"I couldn't sleep," Tracey shrugged. "You?"

"I heard Erica get up so I followed."

"You were spying on her," Tracey stated.

"I was worried."

"Yeah, okay," Tracey rolled her eyes. "Maybe we should try to contact your sister? I mean, if Erica misses her that much she should be able to see her, right?"

"Bad idea," Amanda shook her head. "She treated her horribly. Besides, I never stopped them from seeing each other. It was my sister who decided to cut all ties. Erica used to write to her a few years ago and she never, not once, got a response. I don't think Elizabeth wants anything to do with her."

"Are you sure it's a bad idea?" Tracey queried skeptically. Amanda could be manipulative sometimes and her true intentions might have been to keep Erica to herself rather than let Elizabeth have a chance at winning Erica over in the end.

"Tracey, she used to call Erica a failed abortion. I can't let my baby go through all that again."

"That's totally disgusting. It's weird, though. I thought you were the black sheep of the family. Your sister seems way out there."

"Oh, no, I am the black sheep of the family, I promise you."

"Then I'm glad you're the black sheep. If you were like the other sheep, you'd be so messed up," Tracey said.

"Is that a compliment?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Tracey smiled.

"You think she'll come to me?"

"When she's ready," the blonde assured.

"But why Trevor? If she went to your father, it wouldn't be so bad. But it's…it's Trevor!" Amanda exclaimed.

"Not saying that you're not, but Trevor is one of the most loyal people I know. She just doesn't want word to get out that she feels this way. That, and he has this weird relationship with his mom. Even dad said that it's fucked up. He loves her, but she treated him like shit. And by the way your sister treated Erica, it's that same f-ed up relationship." The only reason why Tracey knew about Trevor's past with his mother was due to the fact that she showed up at his trailer a few years ago. Luckily, Erica had theater so she didn't witness Trevor on the floor in fetal position hallucinating about his mother. It was incredibly sad, but at the same time, terrifying. Tracey remembered how he screamed at her to leave him alone. She took a deep breath and knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder telling him that she was there and everything was okay. It was at that moment that Tracey thought it wouldn't be a good idea for Erica to visit him by herself anymore. However, when she presented this idea to Erica, she threw a fit and she wasn't one to throw fits.

"I'll die if I don't see him!" she had yelled at Tracey with tears in her eyes. "You can't take him away from me. Nobody can!" The two argued for hours until Tracey gave in when she saw just how upset the red head was. After she just witnessed this scene with her mother, Tracey realized that Erica freaked out that day because he was the one she confided in about her mother, Elizabeth.

"I'm going to go make sure she's okay," Amanda stood.

"Mom," Tracey said and grabbed her arm as she stood up to stop her. "Let's leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you, she will. Just give her some time."

Amanda looked as if she was going to retaliate and tell Tracey she didn't know what she was talking about. However, she managed to stop herself and held her breath for about ten seconds before releasing it. "You're right. I just hate that she's hurting and she can't talk to me."

"Don't worry so much," Tracey said. "Look, I know we never really got along that much. But for what it's worth, you're a good mom. Don't let Erica get to you. She isn't doing this to make you upset. She's doing it to prevent that."

"Since when did you get so smart?"

"Since I grew up and got my crap together," Tracey smiled. Amanda brought her into a hug and suggested that they head back up to bed before their husbands found that they were missing. The blonde agreed and they went up the stairs together. Tracey wished she had a better relationship with Amanda when she was younger; if she hadn't been so full of herself or doing cocaine or obsessing over fame, perhaps things could have been okay between them. Also, Tracey couldn't help but notice that Amanda was a bit more attentive to Erica. She wished Amanda had been more like herself now rather than how she was back then.

Tracey recalled a somewhat nervous and stressed out woman back in her childhood followed by a woman who felt alone, overwhelmed, and superficial when she was a teenager. Maybe Amanda was just a better mother now since she had been through it once with her and Jimmy. Or, maybe it was because Amanda was older and more mature.

In a way, Tracey was jealous of Erica in that aspect as well as the fact that the girl was an incredible dancer and she had a good voice for singing and theater. These were talents that Tracey always yearned for, but never had. It didn't help that Erica was, well, cute, in her own little quirky way. Sure, her features were sharp, but they were still feminine. Her cheekbones were a bit higher than her own and Amanda's. Her nose was a bit on the pointy side, but it was still attractive; her look was unique which was why Tracey was jealous. She was cute, on the shorter side, and had a good body for a sixteen year old girl. The only thing Tracey wasn't jealous of was Erica's A-cup breasts but those didn't even seem to bother the younger girl. When Tracey mentioned them one day and how implants could help that problem, Erica did that thing where she scrunched her nose in disgust and told her how she was a dancer so she didn't need large breasts and even if she wasn't, she wouldn't want them. She began to rant and comment how she didn't want them to sag to her stomach when she got old. So, Tracey was jealous of her high self-esteem and how she viewed herself in a positive light when Tracey developed an eating disorder at that age.

What she wasn't jealous about was how much she struggled with math, her narrow feet which limited what shoes she could by, and the fact that her birth mother didn't want anything to do with her when she was a child. Although Amanda had her faults, at least she always tucked Tracey in at night and told her she loved her.

Tracey climbed into bed beside her husband and quickly fell asleep.

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><p>I know I said I'd post once a week on Fridays, but since I had two snow days in a row I'd post a chapter. And yes, I will still post on Fridays like I planned to do. I don't expect this to be nearly as popular as <em>Awkward Child <em>so I am actually surprised that I already have the amount of reviews, follows, and favorites that I already do. So thank you everyone for your kind words, and especially those who are very excited for this story!


	4. Chapter 3

"Amanda, are you okay?" Erica asked her when she saw that it was only ten in the morning and she already had a glass of wine in her hand. Right after Trevor, Tracey, and Jaylen left that morning she went straight for the wine. Michael didn't seem to notice as he went right up the stairs to shower and start his day. Amanda didn't look too happy and Erica was determined to figure this out. She wished Tracey was there to deal with this though because Erica generally hated when Amanda would break out the wine before it got dark outside. She had seen Amanda drunk before and she would freak out when that happened. She'd run up the stairs to her room and stay there until it was over. She wasn't entirely sure why she did this, but she had a feeling it was linked to her biological mother.

Amanda took a sip of the red wine in her glass before answering. "I'm fine," she said without looking at the teen.

"It's not even five yet," Erica said and reached out for the glass. She was surprised that Amanda just let her take it and put it on the table. The girl took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. She looked down at her feet with the pink slippers on them (a gift from Tracey; Erica much preferred blue or purple) and squeezed her left hand with her right. She bit her lower lip nervously before speaking. "You overheard me talking to Trevor last night," she managed to say. She didn't like the silence and she drew her knees close to her chest to make herself smaller. She hated that she'd close up like this, but she couldn't control it. As much as she loved Amanda, she was afraid of her when she drank early in the day. It was an irrational fear of hers that she'd turn into an alcoholic. "I, um, heard you and Tracey come up the stairs."

"I wasn't eavesdropping," Amanda defended. Erica wondered why this entire family was so defensive when it came to things. Michael was the worst offender; if she accused him of, for example, breaking a glass on the floor, he'd flip out and blame it on the glass.

"You were, but it's okay," Erica said in a small voice. "I mean, it's my fault. I should have just waited to talk to Trevor when I visited him next weekend," she shrugged.

"Why don't you talk to me about those things?" Amanda asked her. Her voice sounded pained, as if Erica had betrayed her in some kind of way. Perhaps she had, but how was she supposed to talk to Amanda about Elizabeth? First of all, Elizabeth was Amanda's younger sister. She didn't know what kind of boundaries she'd need to set when she talked about her biological mother because of this. Furthermore, she was unsure of whether Amanda viewed the woman as a villain or her little sister. She assumed the villain; Erica didn't view Elizabeth as a villain even though she probably should based on logic. Finally, it was just awkward. She knew that Amanda's childhood hadn't been ideal either. She didn't want to burden her with the fact that she still felt that she loved Elizabeth whereas Amanda wanted nothing to do with her own mother. They were different situations and they were very different people despite the closeness they shared.

Amanda was dominant (except when it came to Michael but everyone in the house knew she pretty much got what she wanted). Erica was submissive. When there was a conflict, Amanda would fight while Erica would run away and hide. If Amanda was insulted, she'd bite back. Erica, on the other hand, would take it and ignore it. Erica was more likely to help someone else being bullied than herself. It didn't mean her self-esteem was low because she did like who she was and she wouldn't change anything. However, she would change the fact that her biological mother wanted nothing to do with her.

"It's complicated," Erica finally responded. "Don't take offense to it or anything," she assured.

"But why Trevor?" she queried. "Why not me or Michael or even Tracey or Jimmy?"

"Because Trevor…he gets what I'm saying," she admitted. "You've heard from Michael about how horrible his mom was but he still loves her. He still wants some kind of affection or approval."

"What are you saying?" Amanda asked slowly.

"It means…it means I want the same thing. From her."

"How could you want anything from her?" Amanda asked her in that accusatory tone she took. Erica flinched and inched away.

"See? You don't get it. You just wonder oh, how can stupid Erica want that from someone who abused her?"

"First of all, I don't think you're stupid," Amanda said. Erica knew she was looking at her, but she couldn't bring herself to look up. "My mom wasn't very good to me and I prefer that she's out of my life. It's hard to imagine that you want your mom that badly."

"You still don't get it," Erica said in a frustrated tone. "I already have what I want from my mom. I just want _her_ because, well, I still don't even know and that's what bothers me. I can't figure it out."

"I'm not following," Amanda shook her head. "If you already have what you want from her, which is nothing, then…"

It took a moment for what Amanda said to click. Erica rolled her eyes, something she picked up from Tracey, and finally looked over at Amanda. "I said I already have what I want from my mom, but I don't have what I want from her. You, Amanda, are my mom. Elizabeth is my biological mother, yes, but I don't refer to her as my mom. It's usually just my biological mom or something like that. She was never my mom. It's like how my biological dad wasn't really my dad. Michael is. You know what I mean?" Erica was extremely confused when Amanda had tears in her eyes. "Don't cry! See? This is why I have to talk to Trevor about these things. I didn't want to make you cry." And then since Amanda was crying, Erica got upset for no particular reason.

"I had no idea," Amanda said but to Erica's confusion, she was smiling.

"About what?"

"That you thought of me as your mother."

"You didn't know that already?"

"How could I?"

"I thought I was obvious. Like when Dinusha calls to do something I say 'let me go ask my mom' or when you say no, I tell my friends 'I'll just go ask my dad'."

"I had a feeling that's what you said. But it's just different hearing it coming directly from you," Amanda explained as she wiped away her tears. "I'm so happy right now that I don't even care that you go to Michael when I say no to something. Actually, I think Tracey did that."

"Who do you think taught me?" Erica laughed. "But you see that's why I'm confused with everything. I barely even remember what she looks like but I want her to be proud of me. I can't write or call because she never responds or picks up. So I'm stuck."

"She'll come around one day," Amanda said. "She was never like this until she started doing drugs. Someday she'll get clean and come to her senses. Unfortunately, I don't know when that'll be."

"Maybe. I really didn't think that I could talk to you about this," Erica admitted. "But I'm glad that I can, you know?"

"I'm happy that you finally told me what was bothering you," Amanda said. They dropped the conversation when Michael came down the stairs. A huge weight felt as if it was lifted off of Erica's shoulders. She should have just gone to Amanda in the past. She didn't seem hurt at all when she talked to her and it was nice to know that she didn't have to hold in her feelings.

"What's going on?" Michael said as he sat down on the couch on the other side of Erica. She took it upon herself to lean up against him. For some reason, he was more comfortable than the back of the couch. "Any plans for you girls today?"

"Be lazy," Erica answered.

"Didn't you do that yesterday?" Michael joked.

"Yeah, but tomorrow I go back to theater," Erica sighed.

"You don't want to go back?" he asked.

"I do, but I hate the girl who got the part as one of my sisters in _The Sound of Music_."

"Always some kind of drama," Amanda rolled her eyes. Moments like these caused Erica to forget about Elizabeth. She cherished these moments-just sitting on the couch with Michael and Amanda. It made her feel less of an outsider and more like she belonged. The holidays always did this to her; she hated it because the rest of the year she tended to be fine and not think about what her life could have been like with Elizabeth. She knew it wouldn't be anything like living in a mansion in Rockford Hills, but if she stopped the drugs and the drinking, maybe they could have been a small and happy family. There were so many what ifs that Erica came up with while thinking late at night.

"Yeah, well, she thinks she's better than everyone and is always complaining that she didn't get to play Maria. She's just dumb. She doesn't get that this is a community theater and they don't want a sixteen year old to play Maria," Erica explained. "But if we could, I would be playing Maria since I get to play Liesl."

"Hey, watch it. I don't want you thinking you're better than everyone else," Michael warned.

Erica frowned, "I know that. I'm just better than her."

"Don't compare yourself to other people," Michael reminded her. This was probably due to the fact that he and Amanda allowed Tracey to compare herself to others when she was growing up. Obviously, that hadn't gone well and she knew he had this fear that she'd develop an eating disorder like Tracey. Erica wasn't afraid of having the same fate as Tracey, though, because she was not nearly as body conscious as her. Sure, she had a few complaints, but what teenage girl didn't? But her dislikes weren't all she thought about and generally got over it quickly. She had to admit that they were just doing what they thought was best and not to repeat the mistakes they made with the two older kids. Erica found that she had more limitations than Tracey and Jimmy did which made her angry sometimes. At sixteen, Tracey and Jimmy were able to go places by themselves if they figured out how to get there. Erica, on the other hand, was forbidden to take the bus (Michael said there were too many creepy men on there) and she couldn't walk around LS alone (Amanda said she would get kidnapped or jumped).

It was nice to be cared for in such a way, but she almost missed some of the freedom she had as a child when she lived with Elizabeth. Her memories were distorted, but she did remember being able to go to the library or the park whenever she wanted. She also remembered being hungry, cold, and tired. If only Elizabeth hadn't been on drugs…if only rehab helped. She cleared her thoughts before responding, "I don't. I just can't stand her."

"We know, we know," Amanda sighed. "Just don't focus on her too much, okay? You got a great part in the play. Focus on that."

"I get my very own duet," she grinned. "I already know all the words, though."

"That's because you wouldn't stop watching the movie when you were ten," Michael reminded her. "I think I know all the words."

"Remember she got really into _Gone with the Wind_?" Amanda laughed.

"Of course she couldn't just like an hour long movie," Michael said, but with a smile on his face.

"Well, I don't do that anymore. I see movies once and I'm done for a while. I think that's because I'm old," Erica said and scrunched her nose.

"You're old? Then what does that make us?" Amanda queried.

"Ancient," she replied in a serious tone. Amanda was going to bite back because she was not happy with her age. Like Tracey, she was incredibly superficial despite the fact she looked pretty good for her age.

"Hey," Michael interjected before Amanda could say something back. "At least we're above the fossil category," he joked. Even Amanda had to laugh at that. "Well, I have to get going. I'm meeting up with Franklin." Erica sat up to allow Michael to get up. He kissed Amanda goodbye and promised he'd be home for dinner. When Erica was sure he left, Erica turned towards Amanda.

"You can't tell him anything I told you today," Erica said.

"Why not? What you said was really sweet," Amanda replied. "I think it actually made my year to hear you say that."

"Yeah, well, it was supposed to be a secret. I wasn't supposed to tell you that. It just kind of happened," she explained.

"Why didn't you want me to know? Don't you trust me?"

"I do trust you," Erica assured. "It's just that…well…it wasn't something you should have heard. The things I said are always changing. Like just now when the three of us were together, I didn't even care about Elizabeth. It really only happens during the holidays for some reason."

"What about the things you said about me?" Erica wished Amanda would just drop the whole thing. The entire conversation was something Erica wished she could have avoided. She wished she just kept her mouth shut and just said that she had a nightmare about her biological mother or something and Trevor was up so she confided in him. Why did she just come up with this lie now? Well, it wasn't like she was actually good at lying; she was a horrible liar and tended to be obvious about it. Perhaps she could have gotten away with it, though.

"The things I said about you are true. I think about you as my mom. But what do you think about me? Do you think of me as your daughter?" Erica queried. She wished she didn't get so curious because the look on Amanda's face just told the unfortunate answer to that question. Lying wasn't an option for Amanda because it was just too obvious since it took her too long to respond. The question should have been predicted, but even Erica wasn't planning on asking that- it just came out.

"You're my daughter," Amanda answered.

"You totally don't think of me as your daughter," Erica said and stood up.

"I do," Amanda said and stood up herself. "Erica," she said and grabbed her arm gently. "I-"

"Yes, I'm your daughter legally. But I don't think you feel the same way about me that you do about Tracey or Jimmy," she said and shrugged away from her grip. "But it's okay. Only two years until I go away to college."

"Erica-Erica wait!" Amanda exclaimed before the teen ran up to her room and locked the door. She could hear Amanda behind the door as she apologized and tried to assure her that she was her daughter and that she felt as if Erica was her own. However, Erica had a feeling it wasn't true based on her reaction. She laid down on her bed face-down into her pillow as she cried.

Erica's fear was going to come true- she was going to be alone.

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><p>Thanks to everyone who supports the story. You guys are awesome!<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

Erica was taking off her costume backstage from playing her final show of _The Sound of Music. _It had been a popular show with seats selling out almost every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She had to admit that she was incredibly proud of her performance and smiled to herself when she remembered her solo with Josh, the seventeen year old boy who played her love interest. The two had great chemistry both in the theater and when they danced. They always seemed to be paired together and Erica had no complaints. Josh became a great friend of hers since they performed together often.

She frowned when she remembered that Trevor didn't come to her last performance. He always came to opening night and then the last performance. This was the first time he missed one and she wondered where he could be. He hadn't answered her phone calls when she was backstage. She was worried about him; it was safe to say he had some kind of mental problems, Michael claiming that Trevor was psychotic. Erica believed the unprofessional diagnosis completely, but that didn't stop her from loving her Uncle Trevor.

Erica decided to head right over to the Vanilla Unicorn. She wasn't allowed to walk through the main area, but she could go through the back door to Trevor's office. After all, he gave her a key for emergencies. She rushed out of her room and grabbed her purse. She didn't have a car, so despite the fact she got her license in May (last month), she couldn't actually drive herself places. She could have asked Michael or Amanda to borrow a car, but she didn't want to be a burden. Ever since the teen learned that Amanda didn't think of Erica as her daughter, she distanced herself from both Michael and Amanda.

This, in turn, strengthened her relationship with Trevor. She began to go to the strip club after school to do her homework whether he was there or not. She'd also spend a lot of time at Franklin's where one of her best friends was living. Jason's older brother got married, started his own family and moved a couple hours away because of his job. Although Franklin cared about the new high school graduate, he didn't keep tabs on Jason as much as he should have. In fact, Erica could easily slip into the house after hours. Sure, they experimented with each other, but they were strictly friends. Neither was interested in a relationship for their own personal reasons.

Since she didn't have a car, she got a cab. She hated using Michael's money to pay and made a mental note to apply for a summer job. She had the driver drop her off at a store close by before walking across the street to the strip club. She unlocked the side door after a few tries as it was dark out and she managed to miss the keyhole.

Erica entered the office and shut the door behind her. No lights were on so it was rather dark. She felt along the walls for the light switch. She blinked rapidly to adjust to the brightness when she found it. She gasped when she saw Trevor on the floor with his hands over his ears. "Trevor?" she said in a quiet voice. He was murmuring things that she couldn't understand. She knelt down beside him and ignored the fact that her cell phone was ringing.

"Go away," Trevor muttered repeatedly.

"It's just me," Erica said to him. She wasn't prepared for him to suddenly spring into action and pin her against the wall. She was too afraid to scream, so her blue eyes went wide and her breathing quickened. She wanted to cry out for help- that was what her brain was telling her to do in this situation-however, she remained silent. The pressure on her upper arms was becoming too much for her. She wasn't used to being handled roughly and she was one of those people who bruised easily. She wished he'd at least let her feet hit the floor rather than dangling there against the wall.

"Fuck you," he seethed. His eyes were wild with fury and his lips curled in a snarl. She'd never seen him act like this and it frightened her. Was this what Michael was talking about when he claimed Trevor to be psychotic? If so, she hadn't thought Trevor would react in such a way. She just thought he meant he was psychotic because of his odd habits and mannerisms. That, and it was no secret he ate people. When she found that out, she threw up all over the floor. When he heard about her reaction, Trevor made sure that he'd never have human remains in his refrigerator again.

Erica briefly wondered if Trevor would be capable of killing her. He could easily strangle her and watch as she struggled to breathe. Or, he could take one of his many weapons-a gun, knife, or even a baseball bat- and watch her blood spill onto the floor. She shivered at the thought and squeezed her eyes shut as she thought he'd hurt her. Erica never thought that Trevor was capable of doing such a thing until this very moment. "Holy fucking shit," she heard him murmur before she felt her feet hit the floor abruptly. She opened her eyes and stumbled a bit, putting her hand on the wall to balance herself. She looked at her arms and inspected the red marks on them. She winced; those would definitely bruise.

Instead of using her better judgment and getting out of there, Erica slowly approached Trevor. It wasn't one of her smarter moves, but then again, she recalled her birth mother hurting her over and over again whether it was mentally or physically and she always went back. Erica had a feeling this trait she had would have her end up dead someday. She went to speak, but found no words. "I'm sorry, kid," Trevor said to her. "I had a…difficult childhood."

"Don't we all?" she said in a quiet voice as she rubbed her left arm with her other hand. "What happened?" she queried. "It was like…it was like it wasn't even you."

"My mother was here, then she left."

"Your mother was here?" Erica questioned. "Did she come through the strip club to get back here?"

"What? No. She came through the door you did," he replied as if she was dense.

"But the door was locked," Erica said. "You always leave that door locked."

"Well then how did you get in?" he asked her in a rude tone.

"You gave me a key, remember?" Erica said and showed him her key.

"But then how was she…" he trailed. He held his head and let out a frustrated grunt.

"I-I don't think she was here," Erica said slowly.

"But she must have been. She was talking to me and…"

"What do I know?" Erica shrugged. "Maybe she was here. But I didn't see anyone leave when I came in. Are you okay?"

"Define okay," Trevor said without looking at her. He sat down on the couch and put his head in his hands most likely to wrap around the idea that he probably just hallucinated. Erica sat down on the couch beside him. She wished none of this happened due to the fact that she had become closer to him than Amanda or Michael. If she had a problem, she'd go to Trevor even if it wasn't about her biological mother. She would sometimes go to this office after school and do her homework there just to avoid Amanda and Michael. It didn't help that she overheard Michael say something along the lines of that he and Amanda should have been done raising kids years ago. In other words, she felt as if she was a nuisance to them. To Trevor, though, he seemed to like having her around and she didn't feel awkward around him.

"Sometimes I have this dream where my mother comes back and takes me away," Erica started. "It used to be a nightmare but now it's become more of a dream, you know what I mean? And it became so real to me the other night that when I woke up, I really thought that if I got out of bed my mom would be there. And then I think about the things she did to me and I feel guilty about wanting to see her again. But I still want to see her."

"I know what you're getting at," Trevor replied.

"I know you want to see your mom, too. Maybe someday we will see them again," she shrugged. "But we shouldn't because we know what's going to happen. People don't change."

"You're a smart kid," Trevor said. Erica smiled at the complement then frowned when she looked at her phone and Michael called and texted her multiple times. Trevor peered at it and laughed. "You didn't tell them you came here, did ya?"

"No," Erica sighed. "I kind of just left the theater without telling them," she said sheepishly.

"Oh shit, I missed your last performance, huh?"

"Yeah, but it's okay. It was just weird that you didn't go so I wanted to come check on you."

"Next time tell your parents."

"They're not really my parents."

"I don't care what the fuck you say, but they are. I'm taking you home now, kid."

"Fine," she said, not wanting to argue with Trevor. He could get angry pretty easily so it was easier for her to do as he said. She knew he would be a very unfit parent, but it would be kind of fun since he sometimes let her pilot one of his airplanes or drive his truck when she was only fourteen years old.

"You can drive," he said as he tossed her the keys. Erica beamed before she left through the door and ran to start up the truck. It took her a couple of tries, but she eventually got it and she drove off with Trevor in the passenger's seat. Since she had been driving a few years before it was even legal, she was pretty good at it. She navigated through the city with ease. She noticed that Trevor was texting and she just knew it had to be Michael. She gripped the steering wheel because she knew exactly what she was going to come home to. She pulled into the driveway and parked the truck. She said goodbye to Trevor and hoped he would be okay on his own for the night.

Erica entered the mansion quietly. "Erica, get in here," she heard Michael say from the living room couch. She had to really work on her stealth if she wanted to avoid situations such as these. She sighed heavily and went into the living room where she was to be scolded. Michael stood up when she entered. She saw that Amanda was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine with a half empty bottle on the side. She had been doing this lately and it disgusted Erica how she dealt with her problems. She followed Michael into the kitchen where he yelled at her. "I want to know what was going through that head of yours when you decided to get up and go without telling us where you were," he seethed. He did have some anger issues but she wasn't afraid of them. He'd never hurt her. But then again, she thought the same thing about Trevor and look what he had done to her tonight. It wasn't like he meant it, though.

And then Michael noticed the marks on her arm that were beginning to bruise. "What the fuck are these?" he said as he grabbed her wrist to look at her upper arm.

"It's nothing!" Erica exclaimed as she tried to pull away from his grasp.

"Did some fucker grab you tonight? I told you not to walk around LS alone, especially at night!"

"Oh what? Now you suddenly care?" she snapped.

"I always cared," Michael retorted. "It's you who doesn't care anymore. What happened to you, Erica? You were a nice girl until around after the holidays."

"Because that's when I found out I'm not your daughter," she glared.

"Oh please, just drop that already!" he said. "You are our daughter."

"Legally," she interrupted. "And since when did you decide to change your parenting styles with me, anyway? Tracey said when she was my age she used to go out all the time and you guys didn't know."

"Don't compare yourself to Tracey," Michael warned her. "We learned from our mistakes the first time around. We aren't gonna repeat them. So, you're grounded."

"Fine, ground me," Erica shrugged. "I'm not afraid of you."

"You will be," Michael raised his voice as she left the kitchen. She stopped and looked at Amanda who took a sip of her wine.

"Keeping it classy," she remarked. She gasped when Michael grabbed her by the arm, lifted her up so that she was over his shoulder, and he brought her up the stairs. He brought her into his bedroom and shut the door.

"What the fuck has gotten into you lately? You do not talk to me like that and you do not talk to Amanda like that!" he yelled. "And you should be very fucking afraid of me." She took a few steps back because she actually was afraid now, especially when he raised his hand to slap her. She braced for impact, but it never came. He took her by the shoulders instead and shook her as he yelled. She could hear Amanda pounding on the locked door to her bedroom. She could hear Amanda's muffled yells, but she couldn't understand what she was saying since Michael was so loud. "Look," he finally said when he tried to calm down. "You need a swift kick in the ass. I don't know why you're acting this way and I cannot figure you out for the life of me. But you need to stop this attitude you have with us. We brought you in, don't forget that." With that said, Michael opened the door to let her out.

"You didn't hurt her, did you?" Amanda asked, her words slightly slurring.

"Nah, I'd never do that. But I was fucking close. I'm sick of her treating us like shit. She's not getting away with anything anymore."

"Erica…" Amanda said. The red head looked at Amanda and Michael before she entered her bedroom and locked the door.

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><p>Thanks for everyone who's reviewing and continuing to read the story! So sorry I didn't update yesterday. I went to, but then the site was down for a while and I was finally able to log in tonight.<p> 


	6. Chapter 5

Erica pressed her back against the door and slid down. She knew she had been out of line just then, but it was justified, or so she thought. She took her phone out of her pocket and went onto her Lifeinvader page. There, she went into her private messages and clicked on one she hadn't replied to, but she read over and over multiple times. The woman's name was Elizabeth, her biological mother whom reached out to her on New Year's Day. She read the message to herself again and again, wondering if she should finally reply to it.

_Erica, I miss you. I know I was a bad mother. I wasn't even a mother back then. But I promise you I'm better now. I want a relationship with you and I want to be that mother that you always dreamed of. I know you probably want nothing to do with me, but I hope that you respond to this unlike you responded to the letters I wrote to you. I wrote you all the time after I lost you to my sister right around when I got your second letter. I'm beginning to think, though, that you never even got my letters since the letters you wrote never acknowledged that I wrote to you or what the letters pertained. Anyway, I don't want to start any drama on here. I do, however, want you to be aware that I'll be visiting a friend in Los Santos for business (yes I got a real job as a saleswoman). I'll be in LS from June through mid-August. If you are interested, I would be very happy to see you. I miss you so much, my baby, and I cannot believe I missed you growing up. I looked through your pictures on here, and I must say, you are so beautiful. Maybe we can get lunch and start from there? I'm willing to build up a mother/daughter relationship with you no matter how long it takes._

The words that angered her the most were the ones that explained how her mother wrote letters to her. If she never got them, where did they go? She never received a letter in response to her own. She had a feeling Amanda had something to do with it. She knew how Amanda felt about Elizabeth; she knew how much Amanda enjoyed having her around doing various activities with her such as helping her cook in the kitchen. Erica had a feeling that Amanda didn't want to share her. This was what made Erica's blood boil every time she saw the two people who supposedly cared about her. She knew that they were behind this and she most definitely wouldn't put it past them. Erica furiously began to type a message out on her phone. It was short, but got the point across.

_Hey, let's meet up for lunch tomorrow if you're in town. There's a good pizza place on the boardwalk. Hopefully I'll see you then! I missed you, too._

She sent it. Erica's heartbeat increased as she thought about seeing her mother again after seven years. If she was on better terms, she would have consulted Amanda about it to see if she shouldn't go alone. After all, it was a risk. For all she knew, Elizabeth could stand her up or cuss her out for abandoning her in North Yankton. But then again, maybe she was clean and sobered up so she could be the mother that she always should have been. As long as the heroin was gone along with the copious amounts of alcohol, then perhaps they could have that relationship Erica strived for. She desperately needed to feel that empty void Amanda left when she basically said Erica was only her daughter in the legal sense. With positive thoughts about Elizabeth circulating in her head, Erica fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Erica woke up and immediately checked her phone. She went onto her Lifeinvader and saw that her mother responded! She squealed in delight when she read that her mother was pleased to see her and would be at the pizza place around noon. After that, she suggested the beach and Erica responded that it would be perfect. With a smile on her face, she bolted out of the bedroom to take a shower and get ready for the day.

When she returned to her bedroom, Erica looked for which bathing suit she should wear later. She grabbed the high waisted bottom bikini with the black background and pink flowers. Next, she picked out her outfit- a white dress with black polka dots and a white sunhat with a black ribbon tied around it. She laid everything out on her bed and nodded in approval. Next, she grabbed her favorite pair of oversized sunglasses and grabbed some sandals from her closet. She grabbed her phone and selected Jason's number. He was the only one she could trust with such vital information. "Hey, Erica, what's up?" Jason asked her. He had access to one of many of Franklin's cars. He was a very responsible driver which was why he got to drive expensive cars.

"You totally aren't gonna believe this," she squealed before flopping down onto her bed in a fit of giggles.

"You're acting way too girly, even for you. What gives?" the tall seventeen year old asked.

"I'm going to meet my mom for lunch! Like my birth mom," she clarified although she hadn't referred to Amanda as her mother in months.

"Whoa! That's awesome," Jason said. He was truly happy for her. They had been friends since she moved to LS when she was nine and their friendship couldn't have been stronger. "How'd you guys get in touch?"

"She sent me a message on Lifeinvader after Christmas. I didn't respond to it because I was scared, you know? But I decided to respond last night and she replied by this morning. I'm meeting her on the boardwalk for lunch and then we're going to the beach!"

"This is great. I'm so happy for you. But just be careful, okay? I remember how much she hurt you," he said in a concerned tone.

"I'll be fine," Erica replied. "The worst that can happen is I get disappointed but it's whatever. The pictures I saw on her profile are actually not bad. I really think she stopped the drugs, Jase."

"Then I am very happy for you if this is what you want," Jason said.

"The only problem is I'm grounded so I have to sneak out of the house," Erica told. "You think you can meet me at the Bean Machine around eleven thirty and then drive me over to the boardwalk?"

"No problem," he said. "But I'm sure if you tell Mike and Amanda they'll unground you for the afternoon."

"Who knows? I think Amanda tried to keep me from having contact with my mom anyway. My mom said she sent letters to me but I never got them," she explained and rolled over on her bed so that she was now staring up at the ceiling.

"Seriously? Wow. Didn't expect that from her."

"Yeah, me either. But I didn't expect Amanda to think of me not as her daughter. She told me that I was her daughter, but once I spilled my guts out to her I guess she couldn't lie to me anymore."

"I remember that," Jason said. "I'm sorry, Erica."

"Hey, it's okay. I'd give anything to see my parents again." Both of Jason's parents died in a car crash back when he was little. His older brother that was around Jimmy's age became his legal guardian. Currently, Jason was living with Franklin.

"I'm sorry, Jason. I need to stop it with my problems," she replied.

"Don't worry about it. No offense, but my parents were super good to me. But hey, listen, I'll meet you at the Bean Machine. I got you," he assured.

"Thank you so much. I totally owe you big time."

"I'll have to think of something. See you soon," Jason said before he hung up. Erica didn't think that she could smile any bigger. She was just too happy! She packed up her beach bag and got dressed for the day. She figured sneaking out now rather than later would be a good idea. Besides, she had to walk to the Bean Machine close to her house. She would just walk slowly or something.

This, she knew, was going to be a challenge. Amanda was in the living room but at least Michael was out of the house. He was the one who was constantly on high alert with his senses whether he wanted to be or not. Erica tied her hair back into a ponytail before putting on her hat. She took her shoes off in order to get out of the house without a sound.

She went around the house and into the kitchen, leaving through the backdoor rather than the front. She climbed over the barrier around the house and landed on the sidewalk behind the house. It had been kind of a high jump for her, but she had done it before when she was younger for fun when she was about ten and Michael would play hide and seek with her. She put her shoes on and ran as fast as she could away from the house.

Erica slowed down after she ran a few blocks. It was easy enough to get away from Amanda, but she had a feeling she'd be going home to a very angry Michael. She decided not to think about that and focus on meeting her mother for the first time in seven years. Finally she could fill that void and have that connection she longed to have. She thought she had it with Amanda, but all of that fell through the moment she discovered how fake she had been.

She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and glanced at her arms to check for bruising from Trevor. Of course they were purple, but they weren't as large as she thought they were going to be. She was lucky that her dress was short sleeved and covered most of the bruises. Erica couldn't even remember the last time she had to hide injuries.

Shaking that thought from her head, she continued to think about her mother. Before she knew it, she made it to the Bean Machine early. She took a seat outside and used her phone to go on the internet and play some games to wait for Jason. Eventually, he drove up and honked his horn. She quickly walked over to the car and got in. "Hey," she said as she shut the door.

"Well somebody looks extremely happy," Jason commented.

"I'm happy but now I'm getting nervous," she admitted. "But I can't wait to see her."

"How'd you get past Michael?"

"Oh, he wasn't there this morning thank God," she replied. "Amanda was easy, though. She was just sitting on the couch." Erica kept out the part that she was probably drinking. She told Jason practically everything, but she was too embarrassed to admit to her family's problems.

"Nice," Jason said.

"Do you think I look okay?" Erica asked as they approached the drop off point.

"You look fine."

"No, seriously!" Erica said to him with worry.

"Ask Dinusha next time," he joked.

"Yeah, but then I'd have to tell her why I'm dressing nice and she'd call Jaylen and tell him and then somehow Tracey would find out and then she'd accidentally tell Amanda. I don't want Amanda knowing. You, on the other hand, don't gossip and keep your mouth shut," Erica explained.

"Glad I could be of service," he laughed. "Well, here we are. You want me to come with?"

"No," Erica said. "But if it doesn't go well, just keep an eye on your phone please."

"Will do. Now, good luck. I'm gonna be with the guys around here anyway. We're hittin' the beach and the arcade so I'll be around if you need me."

"You're the best," Erica smiled before she kissed his cheek. "See you later. I'll text you."

"Yup. Have fun," he said. Erica took a deep breath before she got out of the car. She grabbed her bag and adjusted her sunglasses. She watched as Jason went to go park his car somewhere. This was it. She was going to meet her mother for the first time in seven years. Her stomach felt as if it was doing backflips and she was actually thankful that she hadn't eaten breakfast.

Erica approached the meeting spot near the pizza place. She stood there nervously but she was able to fake it so that she just looked like a normal sixteen year old waiting for her friends. She was typing away on her phone on the internet when someone came up and approached her. "Erica?" The red head looked up and took off her sunglasses. She looked up at the woman she saw in pictures on Lifeinvader. She opened her mouth to say something, but she was too shocked to say anything. "It is you." Although Erica remembered her face due to pictures she cycled through on her profile, she actually couldn't recall what her mother looked like other than those pictures. And an even scarier thought was that she did not recognize her voice. But this was her mother and she was there. She was in complete shock when Elizabeth hugged her since Erica couldn't even recall a time when the woman ever hugged her or touched her willingly. "It's you. It really is you!"

* * *

><p>Had another snow day so I had time to edit this chapter!<p>

Also, some people might be confused about the previous chapter: Michael would never hurt any family member, I agree with that. Although he almost hit her, he didn't. Furthermore, the chapter was told in third person but in Erica's "perspective" meaning that we don't know Michael or Amanda's thoughts, but we do know what Erica is thinking. Therefore, everything in Erica's mind and what she hears isn't 100% accurate. The scene where Michael was going to hit her was probably not 100% true. He could have raised his hand to hit something, but not her (which is believable because we all know he smashed Jimmy's TV). After the whole scene with Trevor, Erica was interpreting things wrong. Like every character, Erica isn't perfect; she's flawed and isn't completely reliable. It is up to you, the reader, to decide what you believe and what you don't believe.


	7. Chapter 6

"Just look at you!" Elizabeth gushed when they sat down at the pizza place. Erica had yet to say anything and she hated herself for not being able to find her voice. "You're so pretty. Wow. You're all grown up!" Erica studied her mother. She noted that her brown hair was shoulder length and her makeup was done rather well (Erica didn't recall Elizabeth ever wearing it in the past). She was thin, but she hadn't been too thin. Erica was surprised that she shared the same bone structure as her in her facial features. Her mother wore a knee length pink dress that was actually appropriate and not dirty. She was like a new woman. What was very refreshing to see was that she seemed very happy. In the past, she was never happy; she was mostly depressed and angry. "You haven't said a word," she said, her red lips frowning. "I know I did things to you in the past and I regret them," she apologized and reached across the table to grab her daughter's hands.

"I'm sorry. It's not that I'm not happy to see you," Erica finally found her voice. "I just can't believe it."

"You look so good. Please tell me everything. What year in school are you? What do you like to do?" Elizabeth asked eagerly.

"I'm going to be a senior in the fall," Erica smiled.

"And you're a great student, right? You were always reading as a kid," she said.

"I didn't think you noticed," Erica replied.

"I didn't notice a lot of things, but you always had a book in your hands."

"I still like to read, but I don't read nearly as much as I did. I read a lot in North Yankton."

"It was a good escape, huh?" Elizabeth queried.

"How'd you know?"

"Because I read a lot when I sobered up," she answered. "It helped. Kept me away from the drugs when I got out of rehab. And, well, it worked!"

"So no more heroin? Alcohol?"

"Nope! I mean, I'll drink here and there, but socially. Not like how I used to at all, I promise."

"I can't believe that I'm sitting across from you right now. And you're talking to me. This is literally a dream come true."

"Erica, I cannot thank you enough for giving me a chance. This is truly a dream come true," Elizabeth said right before their food was placed in front of them. Everything was so surreal. She remembered having a somewhat similar feeling when she would have a heart to heart with Amanda, only the one she had with Amanda had been stronger. She ignored that, though, considering she hadn't spoken with her mother in years so they didn't have a strong connection-yet.

"I mean, it's been a long time," Erica replied. "And believe it or not, I did miss you."

"I don't understand how you can miss someone like me," she frowned and looked down at her plate.

"Yeah, me either," Erica agreed. "But you're still my mom and you seem to be better. And everyone deserves another chance," she smiled.

"How does Amanda feel about this…meeting?"

"I kind of didn't tell her," Erica admitted.

"Oh…"

"It's not because of you I promise," Erica assured. "Let's pay and I'll explain everything." She went into her bag and grabbed some cash, but Elizabeth stopped her and told her that it was on her. It was strange to have her mother pay for her food when she didn't even provide her food in North Yankton. She followed her out onto the boardwalk and they walked side by side as they made their way down to the beach. It wasn't very crowded in the area they settled down in. Erica took off her dress to soak up the sun and to get some kind of tan. She never really tanned well, but that didn't stop her from trying. Both mother and daughter got comfortable on their towels.

They were silent for a while as they just enjoyed each other's company. Erica couldn't help but steal glances at her mother as she laid down in her one piece bathing suit. Everything about this moment was perfect and Erica couldn't help but keep smiling. She loved that Elizabeth completely understood what she had been saying about different things going on in her life such as theater, dance, and her friends. They laughed over some teenage gossip Erica had accumulated over her junior year.

Elizabeth explained how she was now selling makeup and the business wanted to see how it sold in San Andreas. Knowing that her daughter was living there, Elizabeth jumped on the opportunity for a free flight and housing accommodations. "I'm proud of you," Erica said to her. "You know, you really turned your life around for good this time."

"That means a lot coming from you," Elizabeth smiled. "Who knew you'd be the rebellious type, though, and sneak out of the house because you're grounded."

"Yeah, well, I have my priorities," Erica laughed.

"Do you get along with Amanda and Michael? I'm beginning to think that you aren't."

"Not right now. I used to. We were really close, but all that changed I think sometime after Christmas."

"What happened?" she queried. "If you don't want to tell me that's okay," she added quickly. "I'm not going to try and pry into your personal life."

"It's fine. It's just that Amanda told me she didn't think of me as her daughter after I spilled my guts out to her and said that I felt like she was…like she was my mom. But it was a mistake and that was that," Erica explained quickly. "I just haven't been able to feel that same connection I had with her after she said that."

"I'm so sorry," Elizabeth said to her.

"Don't be. Better off I find out now rather than later, right? I probably would have gotten over that, though. But when I read that you wrote to me, I got so angry because I think she must have ripped up those letters so I could never see them."

"I'm not going to say that I'm surprised," Elizabeth replied. "She was always a little bit selfish. But I'm not here to talk poorly of her. I'm here with my little girl and having the time of my life."

"I'm gonna give you my number," Erica said, reaching into her mother's bag to grab her phone. She put her number in the phone and texted herself so that she'd have the number.

"So does that mean you want me back in your life?"

Erica handed back her mother's phone and smiled. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."

As the day progressed, Erica continued to ignore phone calls and text messages from her family. She was having too much fun with her mom and the last thing on her mind was how much trouble she was in. Erica and her mother stayed out later than they originally planned, so Erica called up Jason and invited him to dinner with them if he was going to stick around the boardwalk. He accepted after Erica assured him that he wasn't intruding. The three of them had a very nice dinner and there wasn't any kind of awkwardness about it which Erica was glad about since she was afraid that Elizabeth might question him as to whether or not he was interested in her daughter. She quickly picked up that he and Erica were just friends. Of course the conversation about the bruises on her arms came up, but she easily dissuaded the topic when she said it happened during a dance practice.

At around nine, it was time for Erica and Elizabeth to part ways. She was thrilled to be brought into a hug and promised to text her to make future plans. Erica and Elizabeth both agreed that Erica would be the one to tell Amanda and Michael about her eventually. After they parted ways, Erica was practically skipping to Jason's car. "Oh my God, isn't she great, Jason?"

"Yeah, she seems really nice," Jason complimented. He couldn't help but smile when he saw his friend unable to stop smiling. They both got into the car and Jason drove off. She told him everything that had happened and repeated herself a few times because she couldn't help herself. Jason didn't point this out, though, and enjoyed her happiness. It had been a while since he saw her all bubbly.

"Ugh," Erica said when she took her phone out. "I have like twenty texts and about a hundred missed calls."

"So basically you're in deep shit?" he queried.

"If I'm alive tomorrow I'd be shocked," Erica said as he pulled into her driveway. "And don't worry. As far as they know, you know nothing about me being grounded. And we spend the day together, okay? Don't want them to freak out about my mom yet. I want to tell them when the time's right. Not when they're all angry."

"My lips are sealed," Jason promised.

"You're the best, Jason."

"Yeah, I know," he laughed. "Now get out. I gotta get home before Frank flips. I told him I'd be home by five."

"Okay," she sighed. "Thanks again!" she said before she shut the door. Jason nodded before driving off.

Erica took a deep breath before entering the mansion. She knew she was in so much trouble; she knew Michael was probably going to kill her tonight. Her heart was beating in her chest profusely and she could hear the blood pounding in her ears. With a shaky hand, Erica opened the door and stepped inside. The house was quiet-too quiet. There seemed to be no activity going on. She walked into the living room to inspect it but saw no one. Maybe they were out? That thought was short lived when she heard footsteps come up behind her.

She could have sworn she stopped breathing when she recognized Michael's presence behind her. "Turn around now," he said in a low voice. She did as she was told and dropped her bag on the floor. Biting her lower lip, she nervously looked up at him. Needless to say, she was incredibly terrified. "Did you think you'd get away with sneaking out like that?" She was silent. There was nothing she could say to make this situation any better. If she confessed that she broke the rules to see her mother, maybe she could get away with a minimal punishment. But she wasn't ready to tell her family that she let her mother back into her life due to the fact that they wouldn't approve or they'd be worried about her feelings getting hurt. "Answer me."

"I knew I'd get in trouble," Erica said in a very small voice. She felt as if she was a mere child again; she felt quite small.

"Then why would you think that leaving the house while grounded was such a bright idea, huh?" Michael questioned. With every word, his voice rose in volume and she felt herself flinch at the end. Erica should have known Michael could be scary considering she just witnessed it the night before. "When Amanda couldn't find you anywhere in the fucking house she called me. You almost gave her a heart attack!"

"I didn't mean to scare her," Erica replied out of fear.

"You need some serious help, Erica. I don't know what has gotten into you, but you've been one hell of a rotten kid." She had no idea why tears came to her eyes when he said this. She knew she wasn't tough by any means, but she was surprised at how much his words hurt her. Perhaps she hadn't distanced herself enough emotionally and this was what was hindering her from talking back. She wanted to yell at him, she wanted to scream at him, and she wanted to tell him everything that was bothering her. But she couldn't or at least not yet. She didn't have the words prepared to explain everything that transpired today.

"I'm sorry," she apologized.

"You're real sorry," Michael said and rolled his eyes. "I don't think that trip to Trevor's this weekend is going to happen."

"What? But I see him every weekend!" Erica exclaimed.

"I don't think you've earned it," Michael replied offhandedly.

"But…but it's not just for me," Erica said quickly. "It's for Trevor. He needs someone to see him every weekend."

"I'll give Trace a call and have her go this time. You are stuck here in this house with me for the rest of the week. I'll be watching you like a fucking hawk."

"Okay," Erica sighed. "I'll go up to my room now."

"That sounds like a great idea. While you're up there, change back into that girl I used to know, will ya?"

"I'm still that girl," Erica whispered to herself as she went up the stairs. "I'm just so confused." She wished she could have the guts and tell Michael everything at that particular moment. The only problem was she overheard him call her a nuisance one night and she didn't want to be a bother. Had he ever really wanted her? Or did he just adopt her because it was Amanda's idea? And did Amanda truly care about her or did she just not want her sister to have her daughter?

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><p>Thanks for reading!<p> 


	8. Chapter 7

"You are so fucked," Tracey said to Erica on the phone. Erica cringed at the blonde's harsh words, but they were very true. The red head desperately wanted to get away from Michael, but he wasn't kidding that he was going to watch her like a hawk all week. It was a miracle that she was able to get away to call her sister (she had no issues with Tracey at the moment and it was hard to think of her as just a cousin). "I seriously don't think he'll ever trust you again."

"He trusts you and you did worse things at my age if you told me the truth," Erica reminded her. Tracey hadn't been the best teenager. She went to parties as well as college parties when she was sixteen. She also drank at least every weekend and was having sex with a different guy every few weeks. She discarded men when she got bored and easily replaced them. It was surprising that a girl like Tracey ended up being married to such a nice guy like Jaylen.

"Yeah, well…let's not talk about me. This is about you. And daddy was never this attentive to me. Mom was the one who did most of the parenting."

"Complete opposite now," Erica replied. "I kind of wish Amanda took on the role. Michael's kinda harsh. He's scary when he gets mad."

"He can be a total psycho," Tracey understood. "However, I was never afraid of him," she laughed. "I always pushed his buttons, told him he ruined my life like every other day. And somehow he still doted on me."

"If only that was the case now," Erica laughed. "It's been five days. I only have two more to go until I'm free. And thanks for seeing Trevor the other day for me. It would have been so bad if no one saw him this weekend."

"No problem. But didn't you see him recently anyway?"

"It's different. On Saturdays I always make the trip to Sandy Shores with him."

"I think he's getting worse," Tracey stated seriously.

"I know," Erica admitted. "Don't tell anyone, but the night I saw him after the last performance of _The Sound of Music_ he pushed me up against the wall. My feet weren't even touching the floor," Erica explained.

"Holy shit," Tracey swore. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"My upper arms bruised a little but other than that I was okay. I told everyone else that it happened during theater or dance. I honestly forget which."

"You aren't very good at lying. Can't keep your story straight. But seriously, that's scary."

"He thought his mom was there before I arrived," Erica said.

"He hallucinates about her. Caught him a few times. I'm getting really concerned about him, Erica," Tracey replied. Erica couldn't help but agree to that statement. When would Trevor finally snap? When would he need constant care? When would he hurt her more than just shoving her against the wall? When would he stop recognizing her? These thoughts swirled around her head as she continued her conversation with her sister. She figured that she'd have to come up with a plan for him later down the road. She hoped that he wouldn't continue to slip away.

She also had more things to think about such as when she'd be able to see her mother again. She texted her about her whole punishment and promised that she'd see her the day she was free of Michael's constant watch. He worked from home in order to make sure she wasn't sneaking out. He and Amanda fought a lot in regards to this because of the fact that Michael couldn't trust that Amanda would keep a watchful eye on her considering Erica sneaked out very easily while under her care.

Erica continued to distance herself from Amanda the more and more she learned about her from Elizabeth. Her mother explained how Amanda never had an interest in her life and herself until she asked Amanda to take care of Erica while she was put in rehab again. Elizabeth explained how it had been difficult to get Amanda to agree to take her in. Erica was reminded that she never got a birthday card or phone call from the De Santa's while she lived in North Yankton. They never really cared until they had been forced to care._ She never really cared about me, either. It wasn't just you. She didn't even visit me or talk to me after she ran away from home. It hurt me a lot, you know? We were incredibly close growing up. It hurt me that we weren't close anymore,_ Elizabeth had texted a couple of days ago.

It baffled Erica how Amanda could completely abandon her sister in such a way. She couldn't imagine Tracey never talking to her again. What if Tracey just got up, left, and ignored her when she tried to reach out to her? That, she thought, would be one of the worst things that could ever happen to her. Erica wanted to ask Amanda if she truly did care or if she adopted Erica just to spite her sister. She began to believe the latter more and more as the days went on. She saw her true colors the moment Elizabeth sent that text.

"I want you to talk to mom," Tracey said to her. "You guys are growing apart and it's too weird not to hear about your shopping trips or whatever it is that you do."

"I'll think about it," Erica finally said. It was the truth, though, but she probably wasn't going to actually talk to her for a while.

"You're making her sad," Tracey said to her. "Please please please talk to her soon."

"Okay," Erica replied. Good, she thought, it would do Amanda some good to think about her actions and why she even wanted to adopt Erica back then.

"Okay," Tracey said. "Well, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," Erica said before she ended the call. She sighed and wished life could be just a little bit less stressful. She assumed Amanda was complaining to Tracey about how she was 'acting out' lately. Erica sighed and put her phone on the nightstand. She changed into clothes that made it easy to dance in. She was pretty much the only girl in dance class who didn't just dance in short shorts and a sport's bra while she practiced or even performed. She was usually put into a costume anyway. That, and Michael would kill her if she even thought to wear clothes like those even if she claimed it was what dancers wore.

Erica didn't mind this, though since she preferred to keep her stomach covered and wear capri length spandex underneath her shorts. It was better to be covered up since she did a ton of partner dancing with Josh and it made it hurt less when he lifted her up multiple times. However, she decided to practice her solo dance that she had been practicing for about a month. Theater, dance, and school kept her incredibly busy. She was glad that school and theater were over for the summer and all she had to do was focus on dancing. Although she loved acting, dancing, she felt, was her true passion.

Once she was changed, Erica grabbed her phone and her speakers to go outside and practice. There wasn't much she could do under Michael's watch but he couldn't stop her from dancing even if he tried. This was just something she loved and she'd do anything to do it.

She danced mostly to contemporary jazz and hip hop. However, she did many partner dances with Josh where they would do the tango, waltz, and many other dances. She didn't want to limit herself to one style since she enjoyed all of it too much to just specialize in one type. Although, if she had to choose one, she'd choose any kind of partner dancing in a heartbeat. There was just something about dancing with someone else that was better than doing a routine on her own. She loved doing advanced tangos and whatnot.

Erica didn't notice that she was being watched by Amanda until the five song playlist ended. She breathed heavily and wiped the sweat off her brow. The older woman constantly looked sad about something. Erica had to hold herself back from hugging the woman who kept her away from her mother for so long. "You're really talented, you know," Amanda gave her a sad smile. Erica took a sip of her water before responding.

"Thanks," she replied. "But I have a lot of work to do."

"What are you talking about? Looked perfect to me."

"It's not," Erica said and went over to her laptop which she used to record herself. She pressed a few keys before she watched the replay of one dance. She pointed out to Amanda which steps were imperfect. "I should have stepped here a few seconds later when the bass dropped. And here again. I was dancing too quickly. I have to somehow slow it down."

"I still think you're really good. I wouldn't have noticed anything wrong."

"I know most people wouldn't. But trust me, Margarita will," she said, referring to the woman who owned the theater she continued to dance at. She dropped the theater there and switched to community theater since there was less pressure. She wanted to focus more on dancing and she simply didn't have enough time to dedicate her time to both.

"I kind of wanted to talk to you," Amanda stated suddenly. "I just want to know what's been going on." Erica looked up at Amanda who brushed the hair that didn't make it into the ponytail away from her eyes.

"Nothing's been going on," Erica lied.

"I know you're lying. Something's going on and you won't tell me or anyone for that matter."

"When I'm ready to talk, I'll let you know," Erica said to her. Lying was impossible so she just decided to leave it at that.

"I'm really worried about you. First you start having an attitude and the next thing I know, you're sneaking out of the house right under my nose. Michael can't even trust me to make sure you stay grounded so he's working from home."

"This isn't about me," Erica said to her without missing a beat. She noticed the last thing Amanda said and it was about her. Why hadn't she confronted her before she sneaked out of the house? The auburn haired girl took in a deep breath. "This is about you and how you're not capable of keeping track of me. You don't really care that much. Just only when it affects you."

"That's not true and you know it," Amanda replied sternly. "I really am worried about you!"

"Whatever," she said and rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go shower." She left the area and ignored Amanda calling her name in that tone of voice that she meant business. Erica quickly locked herself in the bathroom and turned the water on before Amanda made it up the stairs after her. She could hear the muffled yells outside the door which meant Michael got involved. She didn't really care what was going on outside the bathroom. All she knew was the tension was growing and she had to get out of the house. But how on Earth would she even pull that off when Michael was around? When she got out of the shower, Erica got her mother involved. She was going to see her and get out of the mansion. She quickly got dressed and simply went through the back door. She could feel Michael's watchful gaze on her but she acted like she was just going out to get her laptop, purposely leaving her speakers in the back.

Next, she went through the back door at around six and offhandedly said how her speakers were outside. She had her robe on, so the two probably thought she was in her pajamas. Underneath, she wore a nice outfit to wear to see her mother for dinner. Similar to last time, she hopped off the ledge in back onto the sidewalk. She sprinted for it considering she knew Michael would have gone outside if she wasn't back inside in a minute.

Erica met her mother at the Bean Machine and the two were off.

Erica continued to sneak out of the house more and more to meet her mother since her grounding became extended. When Michael found that yelling at her didn't work, he started taking things away from her-eventually her phone was one of them. Elizabeth laughed it off and gave her daughter a new phone that was under her name. She would go back to the place her mother was staying at which she discovered was on Grove Street. She honestly didn't care that she was in a very dangerous neighborhood where she could be shot at for no particular reason.

Most of the people her mother hung out with were genuinely from the hood. They didn't have any ambitions other than getting high or drinking. Erica discovered her mother wasn't really selling makeup but she was supplying crack for these people. Although she was incredibly disappointed, Elizabeth would never get high off of it and only drank just a few drinks- not enough to get her drunk. And when they were alone, Erica loved to just talk to her mother. It was nice to vent about Michael and Amanda without being deemed as a brat, something Jimmy called her when she tried to confide in him.

"So I'll see you tomorrow night?" Elizabeth asked her. Erica hugged her mother before answering.

"That's the plan."

"I love you, Erica. You know that, right?"

"I do," she smiled. "And I…I love you, too, mom. You coming back into my life is the best thing that has happened to me."

"I can't thank you enough for giving me another chance."

"Hey, you earned it. You're not doing drugs and you aren't getting drunk every night. And you don't ignore me anymore. I'm glad you're better."

"And the fact that I'm dealing doesn't bother you?"

"How can it? Trevor deals and I love him," Erica reminded her. "I don't think the drugs ever bothered me. It was the neglect."

"That's never, ever happening again," Elizabeth said.

"I know that." There was a pause. "I better get going."

"Okay. And remember, dress sexy tomorrow night."

"Will do," Erica promised before she left the house. She was bracing herself for the fight that would ensue when she got home. It wasn't that she wasn't afraid, but she just learned to turn her fear into anger towards Michael and Amanda because they'd never hurt her. It was odd that she still had this trust in them despite everything that was happening.

"So this is where you've been." Erica looked around for the source of the voice and found Trevor Phillips standing where her cab should have been.

"I…"she trailed as she had no idea what to say.

"Hanging out on Grove Street, eh? With your mother?"

"How did you…"

"I have my ways," he interrupted. "What I want to know is why you didn't tell me anything."

"I haven't told anybody anything," Erica admitted. She followed Trevor over to his truck since she had a feeling she wasn't in trouble with him. "I only told Jason," she said to him as he drove them away from the ghetto. "But that's because he's been helping me sneak out. And he can keep a secret."

"Well I can keep a secret," Trevor said to her in an offended tone.

"I just didn't want Michael and Amanda to find out, okay? I haven't told them. I don't want them to know until I'm ready to tell them."

"Understandable," Trevor grunted. "Just be smart about it, kid. Don't let her hurt you again."

"She won't, trust me. She changed. She's so different now. I'm so happy," she beamed. "She notices me and everything. She said that she loves me."

"Well, I for one am happy for you," Trevor replied. "But be careful."

"I will be," Erica promised. "She makes me so happy."

"I can tell. So…how much trouble are you gonna be in when I bring you home?"

"Umm probably a ton," Erica said. "But it's okay. I'm used to it by now. I've been sneaking out quite a bit lately. No wonder Tracey was so good at sneaking out. I mean, getting past Michael's harder, but if you know how to do it, it's very easy now."

"You should tell them soon. Not good for them to worry about you so much."

"I'll tell them soon. It's just that I'm afraid that if I tell them, things will get out of control and I don't want them to keep me away from her because of her past. I know that people don't change. But I think my mom really has, Trevor. She loves me; she really loves me."


	9. Chapter 8

Erica had a dilemma. She apparently didn't own any clothes that were deemed sexy. Every picture of the outfits that she sent to her mother, her mother said that she was a cute dresser. If she wanted to get into a club, then she'd have to dress the part. She sighed because she didn't know what to do in this situation. She would have called Tracey if she wasn't still grounded, but that obviously wasn't the case. She rummaged through the depths of her closet but to no avail.

But then she remembered Amanda's closet. Although she was fifty, she sure didn't have the body of a woman her age; she must have held onto something from her earlier years. Tiptoeing down the hall, Erica entered Michael and Amanda's bedroom and went into their closet. She went through multiple clothes until she found something she was looking for: a formfitting white leopard print dress. She grabbed the dress and ran to her room to try it on.

She was surprised to find that Amanda must have been the same size at her at one point in her life. The dress fit perfectly except for the length which was a bit longer than she would have liked due to her shorter stature. She had some black heels that she got about a year ago to match a dress for a school dance. Next, she did her hair so that it had large, loose curls and she did her makeup. She even put on some eye shadow which she never really wore. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw a resemblance to her mother and she smiled. She frowned, though, when she saw Amanda's smile in her reflection.

Leaving the house was easy enough. Nobody was waiting by the front door at ten at night. She never sneaked out this late before so they weren't really expecting it until they probably heard the front door shut. She was thankful that Jason was waiting in his car for her. She hopped in and he drove off right as Michael made it outside onto the driveway. "I swear to fucking God that girl is spending her senior year in boarding school. Gonna ship her off far away from LS," Michael swore as he entered the house to grab his keys.

"Michael, you don't mean that," Amanda said as she stood up to stop him. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to follow that car, that's where," Michael seethed.

"She's long gone by now. She always comes back. We'll just wait for her."

"If this is how you handled Tracey's escapes then no wonder she got so out of fucking control."

"Don't be blaming me!" Amanda exclaimed. "You were the one sitting on your ass all day moping and not even paying attention to me or the kids."

"Don't raise your voice at me, Amanda. I've about had it with Erica," Michael yelled.

"I'll stop yelling when you stop yelling!"

"How fucking childish!" Michael threw his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"Stop it," she glared.

"Look, Amanda, all we do is fight. I don't think we'd be screaming at each other if she wasn't here."

"What exactly are you saying?" Amanda questioned him skeptically. She hoped he wasn't implying actually sending her off to boarding school or something. He was just angry and he'd come around. He loved Erica just as much as she did, right? As much trouble that girl was causing, Amanda never stopped loving her. She just had a difficult way of showing it as she coped with the rudeness and attitude Erica developed seemingly out of nowhere.

"What I'm saying is," he took a breath and lowered his voice. "She needs help and obviously our parenting skills aren't good enough to deal with her." Amanda didn't like him saying this. She was a good mother, wasn't she? She thought so. Just look how Tracey and Jimmy turned out! Her daughter was happily married to a great guy and her son had quite a nice girlfriend.

"Our parenting skills are fine," Amanda narrowed her eyes. "Tracey and Jimmy are functioning adults, aren't they?"

"Yeah, after they learned the hard way with Tracey doing porn and sleeping around while Jimmy jacked off in front of his game all day while getting high."

"Stop it, Michael. They're fine now," she persisted.

"Oh what? You want Erica to start getting into drugs? You want her to do porn or some other kind of shit? I'm trailer trash, you're trailer trash, and so is she."

"Oh please," Amanda rolled her eyes. "She spent only nine years in a trailer park. That's less time than Tracey and Jimmy."

"But Tracey and Jimmy had parents that actually loved them their entire lives. She didn't and I think it's still bothering her. That's why she's being such a little brat."

"So you think the best thing for her is to send her off to some boarding school and giving up on her," Amanda shook her head.

"It's all I've got," Michael admitted. "I'm done with all the fighting going on around here. I thought we were done with that years ago," he said and made his way over to the couch.

"Don't you care about her?" Amanda asked.

"Course I do," Michael said and invited his wife to sit beside him on the couch. She did and cuddled up against his side with his arm wrapped around her. "Maybe the best thing for her is to get away for a little bit. Maybe we'll send her to go finish up the summer with Trevor. That'll teach her to appreciate life."

"That girl loves Trevor," Amanda pointed out.

"Yeah, but spending days with Trevor twenty four seven is nobody's dream. Trust me on this, Amanda. And the food he eats is disgusting. He served me some leftovers once and there was an eyelid in it."

"Was it…human?" Amanda asked in disgust.

"He wasn't even sure," Michael felt a shiver go up his spine when he pictured it.

"Well I for one don't want Erica eating nasty shit like that."

"She saw him eat it once and puked," Michael laughed. "I don't think he ate that shit in front of her since."

"That's disgusting. I'm done talking about Trevor now," Amanda decided.

"I'm gonna call Trace and see if she knows anything."

"She never knows any more than we do," Amanda reminded him.

"Yeah, well, wouldn't hurt to check." Michael went through his contacts on his phone to call Tracey. She answered on the fourth ring and became immediately concerned about her little sister. She promised that she'd call if Erica showed up at her home. She said she'd pass the message onto Jimmy so that he was aware that the girl was missing again. Amanda got up and began to pace when they hadn't heard from Erica for about an hour. She usually returned at nine so the fact that she left late was very concerning.

The two waited and waited for her to return. Amanda suggested calling the police, but Michael said that wasn't necessary unless she didn't come home at all. He knew she would return since all of her things were there. Amanda panicked and wondered if she was hurt or dead. She even had Michael call Trevor but he was just as clueless as they were. He said he'd call immediately if she showed up at the strip club and he'd have Ron hang out at his place in Sandy Shores in case she decided to escape up there. Michael thanked him before he hung up the phone. Although he was psychotic, Trevor really cared about all three of his kids and he knew he wouldn't ever hurt them. If he was going to hurt them, he would have done it already.

"Why don't you go to bed," Michael said to Amanda who looked as if she was going to pass out on the couch. It was two in the morning and they were still waiting for Erica to come home.

"I won't be able to sleep until she's home," Amanda replied. Just as she said that, they heard the door open. Michael was surprised at how fast his wife sprung up from the couch and he watched her run over to the front door. She stopped in her tracks when Michael caught up to her. Her jaw hung open at what Erica was wearing and Michael did the same. The dress she was wearing was the one Amanda would wear when she was on the streets. Michael didn't even know she still had that dress from back then and was shocked to see Erica wearing it. Also, it seemed to fit Erica well. It was hard to remember Amanda being tiny enough to be the red head's size. The dress, he noted, wasn't as clingy as it had been on Amanda back then, but it was still not something he wanted to ever see her wearing.

Erica stood there in that white leopard print dress, pink lipstick with matching eye shadow, and her hair done in curls. The dress came just past her mid-thigh and he had no idea that she even owned fishnet stockings. Needless to say, he did not approve what she was wearing. Erica looked like a deer caught in the headlights as she looked back and forth to him and Amanda. "You weren't out there…oh God I'm going to be sick," Amanda stuttered. He assumed she probably had horrible thoughts that Erica was using it to…he didn't even want to think about it.

"Erica," he said as he steadied Amanda. "Where were you tonight?" She went to run up the stairs but he was quick and blocked her way. "You're not getting away from us this time. You are in so much fucking trouble tonight."

"What are you going to do? Ground me?" Erica challenged, but he could tell she was afraid by the way she took a step back.

"No more dancing," Amanda said in a quiet voice. Michael was surprised that he hadn't gone to this. Dancing was probably Erica's favorite thing and if he took her away from that, it would be an ultimate punishment. Perhaps she'd learn how to respect her parents once in a while.

"What?" Erica shrieked in a way that rivaled Tracey.

"You heard me. No more dancing," Amanda said sternly.

"You're not going to take that away from me, too," Erica narrowed her eyes in a threatening manner.

"Erica, you heard her. Dancing is a privilege. You can earn it back, but it'll take some time. You've been terrible these past few weeks and we are done with your disrespect," Michael yelled.

"I'm going to dance. You can't stop me from doing that," Erica said to them.

"We will stop paying," Michael countered. "If we don't pay, no dancing for you."

"You want to threaten me?" Erica queried. "How about this: if I can't dance, I'm moving out."

"You can't just move out. You're sixteen," Michael rolled his eyes. "Now stop this nonsense. Take off that dress, go to bed, and we'll discuss things in the morning!"

"Want to know where I've been this whole time? I've been seeing my mother-my real mom," Erica yelled to match his volume. That made him go silent. "Yeah, that's right. My mom is here in LS and I've been sneaking out to go see her."

"Wait, you're seeing Elizabeth? But how?" Amanda queried.

"She's selling makeup for someone in North Yankton. They wanted to see how it sold here so she volunteered to come," Erica explained. "And when she found out about the trip she found me on Lifeinvader and sent me a message sometime around Christmas I think. I responded to it a lot later, but I did. And you know what? I'm actually happy and she's happy to see me." The three remained silent. Michael wanted to say something, but couldn't think of anything despite the fact that he was physically standing his ground and blocking the stairs. He looked over towards Amanda who was in complete shock all over again.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" she asked as her voice broke.

"Why should I? You would have just kept me away from her."

"I wouldn't do that," Amanda shook her head. "No, no I wouldn't."

"But you did. She sent me letters, Amanda. She wrote to me all the time but you must have taken those letters and hid them from me."

"Amanda would never fucking do that," Michael retorted.

"But she did. Didn't you, Amanda?"

Michael was surprised when Amanda froze. She stood there and looked as if she was going to burst into tears. "You really did," Erica looked at her with surprised eyes. Even though she seemed to already know the truth, it hurt her to get the confirmation nod from Amanda. "You really did," Erica replied in a voice that sounded as if she was going to burst into tears. Her lower lip trembled. Michael was definitely not prepared for this. "I can't believe you!" Erica yelled. She pushed past Michael and rushed up the stairs. He could have stopped her, but he hadn't. He gave Amanda a confused look before he rushed up the stairs after Erica. He saw that she got out a bag and she began to throw clothes into it.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Michael said. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving," Erica sniffed.

"No you're not. Let's all sleep on this and we'll talk in the morning, okay?"

"You didn't know about the letters, did you?" Erica asked him.

"I didn't. Which is why you should stay and we'll talk this all out."

"I'm not talking to her," she said sharply. She brushed some of the tears away from her eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I need to change out of this dress." When she began to undress with him still in the room, he left and waited outside her door. He couldn't believe his wife kept Erica from her mother. Sure, Elizabeth had been horrible but if Erica had been sneaking out to go see her, then she must have been better now. Amanda was manipulative if she had to be, but this was something that he'd never expect. He watched as Erica went into the bathroom and packed her things. He knew at that moment he couldn't stop her from leaving (at least for the night). She slung her bag over her shoulder before going down the staircase.

"What's going on?" Amanda asked him.

"She just needs to get out of the house for a while," he said to her.

"Don't go," Amanda said to her. "We can work things out. Please," Amanda cried.

"I'm leaving," she stated as she took her phone out of her pocket. First, she called one number but there was no answer. She swore under her breath before she made a second phone call. "Hey, Trevor. Can you come pick me up?" There was a pause before she spoke again. "I have to get out of this house," she cried into the phone. "I'll explain on the way, okay? I just…please." There was a long pause. "Thank you." Erica ended the call.

"Trev's picking you up?" Michael asked her. The red head nodded and looked down at the floor. "You'll be back tomorrow at some point?" She shrugged. "Few days?" She thought about this, then nodded her head. "We'll see you then, okay? And go to dance practice tomorrow." Through her tears, she was able to form a small smile at that.


	10. Chapter 9

The moment Trevor came through the doors, Erica ran up to him at full speed. Even though he probably didn't shower for a few days, there was blood on his shirt, and mud on his pants, she didn't care. She needed somebody who hadn't let her down. Since her mother failed to answer her call (she probably went to bed so she couldn't blame her- it was late), she knew she could count on him to pick up. She cried into his chest and she tried to get herself under control, but her body just kept shaking against her will. Even though she was aware that Amanda kept the letters away from her, why did it affect her this much to hear her admit it? Perhaps it was because Erica had a bit of doubt in her and she hoped that there was some kind of misunderstanding. "What the fuck is going on?" Trevor asked Michael and Amanda.

"Make sure she's all right tonight," Michael responded. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"What did you do to her?" Trevor asked, ignoring Michael completely. He held her against him protectively. She was pretty much all he really had. She knew Tracey and Jimmy would be there for him, but they didn't have that connection that she and Trevor had. Plus, Jimmy rarely got in touch with him and Tracey was distancing herself and focusing more on her marriage and whatnot. She knew he held onto her because she was it. His protégé, Edward, had been a great guy but he ended up going out and expanding Trevor Phillips Industries to Liberty City where he ran those operations.

"Nothing, T," Michael assured him.

"Doesn't look like nothing, _M_," Trevor emphasized the last syllable. "I blame this on poor parenting."

"Shut the fuck up!" Amanda yelled at him. Erica could feel Trevor tense up in a rage. She could hear his heartrate and breathing increase in anger.

"What the fuck did you say to me?" he roared.

"Just take her before I change my mind," Michael said to him.

"Let's just go," Erica persuaded.

"You're explaining everything to me later," Trevor said as he pushed her away from him to look into her eyes and grabbed her arm a little harder than she would have liked.

"Okay," she agreed.

"Be nice to her, T," Michael warned as Trevor went over and grabbed her duffel bag she packed. He rolled his eyes at Michael and reminded him that he was doing him a favor at three in the morning. Erica followed Trevor out the door and got into his truck. She explained everything to him on the ride as she calmed herself down. She told him about the letters and how Amanda didn't let her see them. She said she already knew about the letters through her mother, but hearing Amanda betray her in such a way felt as if someone stabbed her in the chest.

"Thank you for picking me up," she sniffed. "I just couldn't stay in that house tonight."

"Hey, whenever you're in trouble Uncle T is only a phone call away," Trevor replied nonchalantly. "But, I don't think sleeping in a strip joint is the best so I'm dropping you off at Jimmy's. And sorry, you know," he said awkwardly.

"Yeah," Erica sighed and looked out the window.

"Ya know, if I could, I'd take you in," he mumbled but she understood him perfectly.

"I don't know how you can be so scary when you're so nice to me," Erica smiled.

"That's because you're one of the few lucky ones," Trevor laughed.

"Oh please," Erica rolled her eyes. "You're lucky that you know me!"

"And there's a smile!" Trevor exclaimed when she smirked at him. "Be happy, kid. I know what she did to you was fucking awful, but remember that she's your mother and as much as I loathe her, Amanda's always been there for you."

"She's not my mother," Erica frowned. "And she hasn't been there for me. I mean, if she really cared, she would have let me read the letters and keep in contact with my mom. But she didn't. It's not right, Trevor. It's like me telling you that someone else is your mom, not the woman who had you."

"Don't you dare bring my mother into this," Trevor warned. "She didn't sign me over to other people to fucking take care of me." She knew he was getting angry and she should stop the conversation right then and there. However, she was feeling risky considering she was most likely exhausted and the alcohol she had consumed was affecting her.

"Maybe my mom did what was best for me at the time," Erica countered. "Maybe she needed me to go away for a little while to get better."

"What? Takes her seven years to give a shit?" Trevor spat.

"She did get better," Erica said with her head held high. "She's perfectly fine now."

"Yeah, if you say so," Trevor replied. "Well, here we are. Have fun at Jimmy's. Go on, get out."

"You don't need to be so mean," Erica glared at him before grabbing her bag and getting out of the truck.

"I'm so mean that I refused to come pick you up in the middle of the night!" Trevor called out to her before he drove off. Erica took in a deep breath and opened the door to the condo Jimmy lived in. He greeted her before asking what was wrong and why she looked as if she had been crying. Taking another deep breath, Erica explained to him what transpired that evening. What she liked about Jimmy was that he wasn't quick to judge her. He did listen to her when she needed it and talked only when she was ready to hear advice. He was the complete opposite with Tracey where Jimmy was quick to judge her and make an opinion without even sleeping on it. And usually that opinion was against the blonde. Erica didn't understand why he was this way with her but not with Tracey or the rest of his family for that matter.

"You can stay as long as you need to," Jimmy said to her after she broke down for the second time that night.

"Thanks," Erica sniffed. She headed to the second bedroom with her things and got ready for bed. She didn't know why she suddenly craved a hug from Amanda rather than her own mother. Perhaps it was just out of old habit and she was just getting used to her mother's affection. She sat in the bed and hugged herself, slowly rocking back and forth. She recalled doing this back when she lived in North Yankton when she felt lonely. She used to close her eyes and imagine Elizabeth slowly rocking her to sleep. Although she didn't imagine anything, the motions were still comforting to her.

Although she told herself to dislike her aunt, it wasn't possible to stop the pain in her heart from that feeling of betrayal. She wanted to just forget all of the good times she had because she had a feeling they weren't genuine. She wanted to forget how Amanda would hold her when she was sad or do her hair for the school dances. She wanted to pretend those horseback riding lessons never happened back when she was ten. The bad definitely outweighed everything that was good because she never wanted to keep Elizabeth out of her life. Amanda took it upon herself to blind Erica with opportunities and happiness so that she'd forget about her old life in North Yankton and the person she left behind.

"Why did you do this, Amanda?" she whispered in the dark. "Maybe my mom was right after all. You just wanted me because she had me. I hate that you did this. I hate that you were okay with doing this. But as much as I hate you, I want you. Well, screw you! Because you can't have me if you want to blind me." Erica laid down in bed and pulled the blankets up to her chin.

Over the next few days, Erica stayed with Jimmy and didn't speak to Michael or Amanda. She wished Dinusha hadn't gone away for the summer because she could have really used her best friend right about now. Sure, there was Jason, but it was different venting to a girl rather than a boy. She could give Tracey a call, but she was mad at Erica and claimed she was overreacting. It was easier to keep her distance from the blonde for a while until she cooled off. She didn't really want to talk to Trevor even though she pretty much told him everything.

Jimmy voiced his opinion and said that he knew that their parents were screwed up however she should just accept them for who they were and go back home. He said it would be the right thing to do and that she should forget about the letters because Elizabeth was in her life now and that she should focus on that. His words made sense, but he didn't know how hurt she was over all of this. She didn't think she could face going back to that mansion so she did the only thing she thought logical: she agreed to move in with her mother.

Erica really thought about it and it was the one thought that brought joy to her. She smiled just thinking about it! The only thing that she wasn't looking forward to was packing her things at the mansion. However, it had to be done and here she was. Tracey and Jimmy didn't agree with her decision so they refused to help her with the move. Therefore, Erica relied on Jason who was always there for her no matter what. She came at a time when she knew Amanda would be out and Michael would be at work. However, she didn't think it would take her this long to pack. She was running out of time but she decided not to panic and just go with the flow. If they came home, she'd deal with it. "I think that's enough," Erica decided.

"You gonna miss it here?" he questioned her. Erica merely shrugged because she didn't want to admit that she might. "You hear that?"

"I think someone's home. Shit," Erica said. "Come on, grab that suitcase and let's get out of here." As they were going down the stairs, of course Amanda and Michael both came home at the same time. What were the odds? It looked as if they had gone out to lunch, though. The two looked happy as they came through the door. Those smiles vanished when they saw her and Jason standing at the bottom of the stairs with suitcases.

"I'll wait in the car," Jason said and took her other suitcase from her. She nodded and bit her lower lip nervously.

"Erica…" Amanda whispered.

"What's up with the suitcases?" Michael asked her skeptically. "Stayin' with Jim for a while?" Erica had no idea how she was going to explain that she was going to move in with Elizabeth. She hadn't rehearsed this in her head so she had to come up with something on the spot. Why was it so hard to tell them that she was moving in with Elizabeth?

"I…" she trailed and looked down at her feet. It hurt even to look at the two. "I'm moving in…with my…mom," she said quietly but she knew they heard it when Amanda gasped.

"No, no, no," Amanda said repeatedly. Erica looked up and saw the older woman shaking her head. "You can't do that. We won't let you do that. Michael!" she looked up at him expectantly.

"Erica, it's great to see you. It's been quiet here. Why don't you go unpack those suitcases and we'll talk," he tried to reason.

"There's nothing to talk about," Erica replied.

"You can't move in with her," Amanda said quickly.

"I can't stay here anymore," she said. She didn't even know how to go about explaining this still and she wished they'd just let her go. Why do they want her to stay so badly?

"Erica, stop this. You had your fun at Jimmy's but it's time to get back to reality," Michael ordered.

"Look, all I do is hurt you guys and you hurt me. Maybe we're better off like this, you know?"

"Erica, moving in with your mother isn't a good idea. You need to stay here, finish school, and go to college," Michael put in.

"I'm still going to do all that, I promise. I just can't live here anymore. It hurts too much."

"Please stay," Amanda said to her. "We just need to talk things through."

"No. I'm leaving and that's that," Erica replied. "If you call the cops I'm not cooperating with them. If you try and keep me here, I'll kick and scream until you let me go. I don't want to live here anymore. I'm done. I want my mom in my life and I feel like if I stay here, it's…I just need to get out of here."

"Is that really what you want?" Michael asked her. Erica nodded. "Fine. Go. I give up," Michael said and threw his hands in the air.

"No, he doesn't mean that. Erica, please stay here. You belong in this house," Amanda cried.

"Amanda, if this is what she wants, let her go stay with her mother. She knows that she can always come back and that we'll always be here, right Erica?"

"Yeah," she lied. There was no way she could come back to this house. All it held was sadness for her now. It wasn't a place that she was comfortable calling home anymore. She felt as if everything was wrong and unbalanced; she needed to go stay with her mother to keep her sanity. She desperately wanted to go back to the way things were, but she knew that it wasn't possible. Deep down, she knew too much damage was done.

"Screw you, Michael. How could you just let her go like this?" Amanda asked him. It was obvious she was panicking and Erica knew it must be due to the fact that Elizabeth won the battle and she was getting her daughter back.

"We can't keep her away, Manda," he sighed.

"I'm not saying to keep her away!" she exclaimed. "She can see her whenever she wants. It's the fact that she's moving out."

"We'll talk later," Michael promised Amanda. "Besides, we both know she's going to do whatever she wants regardless of what we think is best." Erica watched as Amanda looked over at her with a look of longing and pain. She had tears in her eyes and the red head wished she didn't because she was beginning to feel a little bit bad. Maybe she overreacted? No, she told herself, there was no way she could be overreacting. Amanda hurt her in a way that she felt was irreparable; keeping those letters and contact away from her was just too much. "If you ever need us, give us a call," he said to her.

"Thanks," Erica replied. "Well, bye," she said before she left through the door. She dodged away from Amanda and Michael's hug goodbye because she felt that she'd be unable to handle it. Erica got into the car with Jason and he drove off towards Elizabeth's home.

* * *

><p>Sorry I didn't upload last week. Hopefully that won't happen again. Thanks again for reading!<p> 


	11. Chapter 10

"_Stop it!" she laughed and tried to block herself from the view of the camera. Her hair was tied back into a ponytail and she wore a cute little sunhat that was light blue and matched her sneakers. Her skirt was a darker shade of blue while her shirt was white. She couldn't stop laughing as the camera was still filming her on the boat Michael purchased. "What are you doing?" she asked him as she lowered her hands from blocking her face as she accepted her fate._

"_Just filming you," Michael replied nonchalantly._

"_Do you have to document a boat ride?" the ten year old asked him._

"_Yeah, why not? From what I remember you're the one who thought it would be a good idea to get me a video camera for my birthday," Michael reminded her._

"_And what? Now you're using it?" she laughed._

"_Yeah, why not? It's a nice day out."_

"_Hey kid, there's a dolphin over there," Trevor's voice was in the distance._

"_Oh my God!" Erica jumped in excitement. "Michael, come on! We have to go see!" She rushed over to the other side of the boat where Trevor stood. Erica gasped in awe when she saw the dolphin swimming about. The camera panned away from Erica and focused on the dolphin that was surfacing from the water. "Put the stupid camera down and look at the dolphin!" the girl demanded. Michael and Trevor exchanged a few words before the camera was handed over to Trevor. Michael approached where Erica was and stood with her and watched the dolphins._

"_Hey look another one," Michael pointed. The camera was focused on Michael and Erica- father and daughter- as they watched the two dolphins._

"_They're best friends," Erica concluded._

"_And how do you know that?" Michael questioned her._

"_Because they're swimming together," she claimed._

"_Makes sense," Michael said. _

"_How come Amanda and Tracey never come on the boat?" she queried. "They're missing the dolphins! They're really weird."_

"_Yeah, women are weird," Michael laughed._

"_Hey! I'm a girl!"_

"_You're still a kid," Michael said and rubbed her back. "You haven't had a chance to get weird yet."_

"_Stop it," Erica giggled. "I wanna see a whale!"_

"_Why's that?"_

"_I like whales!"_

"_Since when?"_

"_Since I'm not sure!"_

_The camera was turned towards Trevor's face and he began to make faces into it. The screen went black_.

The whole video had been adorable, Amanda thought, but Trevor had to ruin it with a close up of himself making ridiculous faces. She could never figure him out and she didn't think that she actually would. Nobody understood Trevor Phillips, not even her husband. She thought she understood the girl in the video like the back of her hand, but she no longer understood Erica. She had been gone for five days now and Amanda wished she at least heard from her. Unfortunately, it seemed as if Erica would only come back when school was back in session to have her sign permission slips and pay for those senior trips that she'd be taking.

Why did she have to go? Amanda sighed and wished she could turn back time and maybe show her the letters even if she felt it was wrong. After all, the last thing she wanted to do was have this happen. She knew Erica felt incredibly betrayed, but wasn't she taking it too far? She heard footsteps behind her and she went rigid as she was caught watching these videos again. It had only been five days, but she missed her despite the fact that she barely saw her anyway. "Not again," Michael shook his head.

"It's all your fault for letting her go," Amanda pointed out.

"Not this again," he repeated himself. "Look, I already told you I thought she'd be back by now."

"Even though she says my sister is okay, I feel like she's still dysfunctional and it doesn't make me feel better that's she's living on Grove Street," Amanda added.

"Oh, like we're real functional?" Michael laughed and sat down beside her. "I told you she'll be back. Just trust me on this. Maybe this'll be good for her and she'll be grateful for what she has," he explained.

"How can you be so sure?"

"She's a smart girl. She'll figure it out whether it's the easy way or the hard way."

"Those stupid fucking letters," she swore. "Why did she even have to write them? Why couldn't she just leave Erica alone?"

"Because she's her daughter."

"No," Amanda growled. "Erica is our daughter. Lizzy was so horrible to her, Michael. She's not her mother. I don't give a crap what Erica says."

"What happens when she goes to college? You gonna freak out then when she moves out?"

"No," Amanda shook her head. "At least I'd be able to contact her. I think my sister blocked our numbers. I can't get a hold of her."

"Yeah, I figured," Michael sighed. "But Franklin says she goes to his house sometimes so he's keepin' an eye on her. Don't worry so much. It's like the time when Tracey claimed she moved out with a friend. She ended up coming back," he reminded her. Amanda did recall this incident when Tracey moved out for about two weeks when she was a senior in high school. But the thing was, Amanda dismissed this; she hadn't really been that concerned because she knew Tracey was coming back home and she didn't need to worry considering she was just staying down the road. But Erica was a completely different story. She wasn't confident that the sixteen year old would come back despite Michael's constant reassurance.

"Maybe I should write her," Amanda pondered.

"Go for it."

"Will you give it to Franklin to give to her?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Just don't be disappointed if you don't get a response right away."

"I won't be, I promise," Amanda said before she got up from the couch, bent down to kiss him, and went upstairs. When she left the room, Michael waited about five minutes before he took the remote and skipped back a few scenes on the Blu-ray disc before he paused on the part where he was pointing at the dolphins and he stood behind her as she talked about the dolphins being friends. Just as he was feeling a bit sentimental and kind of wanted to take a picture of what was on the television before him, he turned it off and threw the remote on the floor.

"Fucking-A," he said under his breath. "You better come home, kid."

Meanwhile, Erica was in her mother's place on Grove Street. She didn't particularly like the gunshots she heard throughout the night and occasionally during the day. She had difficulty sleeping at night so she'd manage to get to Franklin's to spend the nights with Jason. Her mother was usually out at night and Erica hated being alone in this neighborhood. She completely forgot what it was like to come home and not have any food available. Her mother's friend (whom Erica assumed she was sleeping with) wasn't the friendliest looking person ever. He would completely ignore Erica which she was okay with, but he looked scary and he was scary. He'd take out his gun sometimes and go out there to get the gangs away from his home. Even though he was protecting his property, Erica felt that he took it too far one day when he shot someone in the head.

He had quite a reputation on Grove Street to the point in which the gangs would go away when he was around. Rumor had it that he did belong to the Ballas. Erica wouldn't know nor did she want to ask. It was going to get dark outside soon and Elizabeth said that she'd be out late again. The red head had to get out sooner rather than later since she lost track of time and was leaving about an hour later than usual. Her mother's friend (or boyfriend-whatever he was) grunted when she told him she was leaving.

Upon exiting the small house, she made sure her phone was in her pocket. She began to walk towards the end of the neighborhood and get somewhere safe where she could get on the bus without people freaking her out. "Hey, it's the Rockford bitch," one of the teens on the streets yelled. The African American boy pointed her out to his friends.

"What's a lil' white girl doin' up in here?" another boy queried.

"Pro'lly fuckin' that old Ballas dude, know what I'm sayin," the third said. The three boys laughed at her and Erica was simply frozen in place. She didn't know how to respond to the jeering boys until one of them slapped her on the butt and she let out a scream.

"Nice ass," the first one said. "Can see why he'd be fuckin' her."

"Not too big, though," the third commented. "But sure as hell firm. I'd fuck it," he said and gave it a squeeze.

"Where you runnin' off to?" the second one who was taller than the other two asked her. "Answer me," he demanded when she didn't say anything.

"I'm just going to my friend's house," Erica explained.

"She's got legs," the first one said when he noted that her legs were relatively toned. "What you do?"

"What do you mean?" Erica queried.

"Don't be a stupid bitch. What do ya do to get legs like that? Rich girl got a gym membership?"

"I just dance," Erica replied. "I don't go to the gym," she replied.

"Ah, stripper?"

"No, nothing like that," she said quickly. "I dance at a studio."

"Let's see what the white girl can do," the third one laughed and the other two joined in as well. It didn't take Erica long to figure out that she was supposed to dance when one of them took their phone out and put on music. It was definitely rap and had quite an intense beat to it. It was incredibly inappropriate and she wasn't too fond of this kind of music. They looked at her expectantly and she forced herself to ignore the derogatory lyrics. She found and felt the beat before doing a quick routine she made up on the spot. She was surprised when the boys called over more people and they watched her dance. One of the boys challenged her and she had no choice but to accept. After a while, she was actually having fun as the insults turned into cheers towards her and eventually the girls were rooting for her to win.

She never had a dance contest like this, so she wasn't entirely sure if she won. It seemed as if she lost though because she couldn't break-dance like the other boy. She had to admit, it did look cool and she wished she could thrash her body around like that and have the upper arm strength for it. "You got moves," her competitor said to her. She looked up at him and smiled.

"You're really good," she complimented.

"Come hang out with us," he invited her.

"Yeah, you're not that bad for a white girl," one of the girls put in.

"How come you guys are always calling me white girl?" she queried.

"Because you are a little white girl," the other girl laughed.

"Well, my name's Erica. Maybe you can call me that instead?" she tried.

"Kimara," the African American said after a moment of silence. Most of the other teens split up and went their separate ways beside the boy that danced with her, the three that found her, and Kimara. She quickly took her phone out and texted Jason that she'd be over later. "And this is Tyrone," Kimara said pointing to the first boy. "That tall guy's G, this one is Darrel, and this one over here who challenged you is Vince." Right after introductions were made, gunshots rang through the neighborhood. Erica put her hands over her ears while the other four looked around to see where it was coming from. The boys took out their pistols and waved them around wildly. "Don't be fucking stupid," Kimara yelled and took G's wrist in her hand, yanking it hard.

"I can do what the fuck I want," G yelled back.

"Nah, Kim's right," Darrel said. "Come on, let's get out of here." The four ran, but Erica was glued to her spot in fear. When the gunshots were this prevalent she was usually in the house or at Jason's. Actually, she should have been at Jason's and she was regretting that she decided to go over later. She let out a small scream when she felt someone pull her roughly by the arm. It was Vince who went back for her and she had a difficult time keeping up with him. She was a dancer, but she wasn't a runner. In her panic, she was tripping over her own two feet which was extremely rare for her. Amanda always said that she was very graceful. She shook that thought out of her head immediately. Why on Earth did Amanda come into her thoughts? She should be thinking about her mother, Elizabeth. Yes; Elizabeth. What if she was shot and wouldn't get to see her mother again? Strange, she thought, that this didn't trigger any strong emotions. She blamed it on the gunshots.

"In here," Vince said and pushed her into an abandoned house. The windows were boarded up and it didn't look like anyone kept it up.

"Hide," Kimara hissed from behind a pile of rubble. Erica looked around and found an overturned bookcase. She squeezed between that and the wall and waited. Nobody said anything when they heard the fighting going on right outside the old and abandoned house. One of the gang members stumbled inside. Erica had to close her eyes because she heard a shot and a body fall onto the floor. She didn't dare open them. She didn't think that she'd be able to deal with staring at a dead body. The teen held her breath when footsteps passed her hiding spot.

"Hey, they're gone," Vince said to her. Erica crawled out of her spot and saw that the four were waiting for her.

"Never been around for one of these, huh white girl?" Kimara stated. Erica didn't even want to correct her. All she could think about was the dead man lying on the floor with blood pooling around his head. "Better toughen up and get used to it if you live here now. Or you could go back to Rockford Hills and be with the bitches."

"Rockford Bitch don't know what she's in for," the boys laughed.

"Look at her face!" G pointed.

"Poke it," Darrel said to her. "Poke the ol' dead black man!" Kimara grabbed Erica's hand and pulled it towards the corpse. Right before she would have touched it, Erica's adrenaline kicked in and she ripped her hand away.

"No!" she yelled. "First of all, my name is Erica; not Rockford Bitch, not white girl, Erica! And second of all, I spent most of my childhood with my mother in a fucking trailer park in North Yankton. Yes, I lived with my aunt and uncle in Rockford Hills because they're rich. But I'm back living with my mom now and I will not let you guys fucking bully me. If you don't like me, fine. But you don't have to go around being assholes." It didn't take long for her to be slapped across the face by Kimara.

"You need to fuckin' relax," Kimara said. "Come with us."

"Why would I come with you?" Erica narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. Kimara rolled her eyes before grabbing her sleeve and pulling Erica out of the abandoned house and leading her down the street. They went into a house (she assumed it was Kimara's) and the boys sat down and immediately started smoking marijuana.

"Relax," Kimara said and handed her a joint.

"I don't think I should," Erica denied it.

"It won't hurt you," Kimara promised.

"It's fucking great stuff," G told her.

"I should go," Erica went to leave.

"Just try it. Weed don't kill people," Darrel assured.

"It's not like other drugs," Tyrone said. "Sit down." Erica couldn't explain why she sat down and started smoking. She couldn't explain why she was doing this after she was told by both Michael and Amanda to stay away from drugs whether it was marijuana, alcohol, or cocaine. They always told her to be careful and don't accept drugs from anyone. Even Trevor told her not to get involved and he sold and took meth. Trevor always said she was too good for getting involved with things like this and she always felt bad because it made her think that he didn't think he was good enough to be above it. But she had seen her mother get high over the past few days and nothing bad happened. In fact, her mother offered it to her and she had declined. Elizabeth assured her it was okay but respected that she didn't want to do it. This time, though, Erica felt she couldn't say no when she knew she'd be fine. Even though she could hear Amanda's voice at the back of her head telling her to get out of there, she did not and welcomed the marijuana which made that voice in her head go quiet.


End file.
